


trauma

by emogothXx



Category: Digimon, Final Fantasy, Horizon Zero Dawn, Resident Evil, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Strike the Blood
Genre: Blood, Body Horror, Death, Factory, Fiend - Freeform, Final Fantasy - Freeform, Gen, Gore, Hanji Zoe - Freeform, Invesitgation, Levi Ackerman - Freeform, Monster - Freeform, Nanaba - Freeform, Trost, Zombie, akatsuki kojou - Freeform, bodyhorror, building, butchery, crossovers, gegadramon, gelgar - Freeform, gryphonmon, kiriha kisake, majini, mikasa ackerman - Freeform, motoki yaze, scouting legion, shingeki no kyojin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-19 03:50:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20650736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emogothXx/pseuds/emogothXx
Summary: ok for my first fic, you have Nanaba going to investigate some abandoned factory place when shit goes terribly wrong.





	1. commence investigation

**Author's Note:**

> slight crossover mentions from multiple fandoms. they're not very relevant so don't let them confuse you if you don't know them.  
the events took place in the modern AU but everything is basically the same. Also the Trost branch is the third military branch instead of the garrison so don’t mistake it for a district.  
btw, this is very gory. like.. REALLY gory. if you can handle this sort of thing then be my guest. want me to make you some tea as well?
> 
> in my headcanon, males and females are physically similar. So when I mention the breasts of a female character, I refer to the pectorals guys have, not those disgusting sacs of blubber. You’ll see what I mean in the middle of the story.

“Nanaba, get over here”.

I heard Commander Hanji’s deep and authoritative voice calling for me from the other side of the barrack’s resting room we’re currently settling in. we’ve been to a lot of quests lately when we’re not out on our monthly expeditions and now everyone is as lazy as a group of sea lions on the beach. Mikasa, Yaze and some of the others must still be asleep in their dorms. While the kids here are either face-to-face with their phone screens or just lay around staring at the ceiling. Hmph. Teenagers…

Anyway, I went over to see what the higher-up lady wanted when I almost tripped over Marcus’s sprawled out feet. Damn it, brat! Ugh, great. I’m starting to sound like Levi. Speak of the devil (literally) he’s over there wearing, as usual, his infamous resting bitch face, which could earn him the title of the new Grumpy Cat meme if this goes on.  
When I finally made it to Hanji after passing by the group of these lazy penguins, she handed me a report about an abandoned factory located slightly far from here. 

“no suspicious events or sightings so far in that factory”, she started. “no suspicious events or sightings so far in that factory”, she started “Titan Squad saw it on their way home and they request we do an investigation on their behalf in case something is wrong with the area. And since we’re the closest to it’s location, we’re the ones for the job”. I read over the report she must’ve received from those guys. Yes, she’s the only one who can read Genos’s weird ass report like an exorcist handling a talisman. And by read, I meant trying to decipher all these graphs, bizarre drawings and ancient sympols before me. What the hell, man?

The only thing I managed to understand though, was the picture. It shows a rundown building that looked like it hasn’t seen a single person inside it for decades. It looked relatively intact despite the huge cracks on the wall, broken windows, and missing batches of paint. Yup, looks abandoned indeed. The doors are even missing their handles. Classic. And apparently it’s my job to go and check out that ghost hideout. Sounds easy enough.

I wonder of one of those kids felt like doing something useful, because I’d get bored too if I kept staring at that ceiling.

“anyone coming with me?” I announced. And frankly, I didn’t know what to expect. Because all I have received in return was a chorus of whines and complaints and all that kiddie drama. Even Edward waved shakily at me in dismissal from his sea star position on the couch even though his arm is made of metal. Like, who is he trying to fool? Like I said, drama~  


Even Levi didn’t give two craps about giving a proper response and proceeded to read that Percy Jackson novel he had borrowed from Gen, all the while sipping from that blasted cup of tea. I swear, it’s always tea with that guy. I rarely see him ingest anything other than tea. To the point that I’d sometimes think that tea is his primary meal and the rest of the normal human food articles are just snacks to him.

And frankly, I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to come along. Like I said, we’ve been up to a lot of shenanigans in the last couple of weeks that it’s only natural that they’d feel like not doing anything anymore. Even if it means staring at the ceiling… I don’t even want to take Erwin, my Gryphonmon with me. Big guy is still sleeping at the corner and doesn’t look like he’ll open his eyes soon. Our poor digimon and pokemon companions have done a lot lately. Even Jaeger, Levi’s Gegadramon, still has a crack on his metallic helmet from that last fight with that S-level bird monster. They truly deserve their break.

I waved my goodbyes to Hanji and went out the barracks and over to the front yard where the stables are located. I pulled out my dabble grey mare, Sierra out of her stall. She followed me outside while waving around her long thick black tail that I like to tie up with ribbons sometimes. I gave her a pat on her neck and started to prepare her for the trip coming along.

“let’s go on an adventure, Serry, just you and me” I murmured while sliding the bridle alongside her nuzzle and over her head. Then swung the saddle over her back. Made sure it’s properly attached and in place. Jumped on top of her and off we went.  
________________________________________  
Not even five minutes into cantering across the wide general yard and I had stumbled across Gelgar from the Trost branch. Wonderful, I haven’t even been out of the military property yet and I find another fool in this early hour of the morning. Apparently I must have looked so welcoming to having a conversation with cuz he approached me on his horse with that clown-like grin on his face. I didn’t bother stopping my horse and just eyed him sideways. He slowed to my pace and rode next to me looking awfully eager at 8 am in the morning.  


”early bird?” that’s the question he decided to toss my way. I don’t have anything against him. I just don’t feel very comfortable with the guy. Especially since Kiriha kept telling me that he is having a crush on me which is ridiculous since we barely see each other. but I guess I should take what she says to heart since that girl is as sly as a fox and has an eye for these sorts of things. especially with the way he smiles like The Joker whenever he sees me and calls me “babe” and puts his arm around my shoulders like we’re best friends or something. No, scratch that, what he does is completely out of the friend zone. 

“yes. I’m heading over to a certain place under an investigation command” I decided to grace him with an answer putting on my professional tone.

“would you mind some company?” ok, should I refuse? He might try something stupid and it’s just too early for bullshit. Then again, if he tries anything, I’ll be sure to twist him into a pretzel and that should be enough of a message to get through his thick head that I’m not interested.

“do what you want, but I’m not waiting for anyone”

“don’t you worry. I don’t like to keep a hot chick waiting~~”

Sooo, should I have said no?  
________________________________________  
We galloped across the road heading over to that shitheap of a factory. I assumed my galloping position on my horse with Gelgar speeding right behind me. I must be giving that dickhead a nice view from where I am. Yeah, that’s right, douchebag. Keep staring at that ass. It’s probably the reason why you wanted to tag along in the first place. I wanted to see if my doubts were correct, so I took a quick look behind me and, once I did, he quickly looked the other way. Suspicious much? i thought about giving it another try to confirm my doubts cuz, who knows? I could be wrong. So I kept staring ahead for the next few seconds, then looked back at him again, and sure enough, he looked the other way again. I decided to give it one last try, and when I looked behind my shoulder this time, he pretended to scratch his neck looking oh so innocent. Am I joke to you? His fingers weren’t even touching his neck. So, like I said: am I fucking joke to you? And at this point, I didn’t even care whether it was a coincidence or not, I have a job to do and having some asshole with a hopeless crush on me stare me down aien’t gonna stop me. I just wanna get this over with, go home, drink tea with Levi, sit down and stare at the ceiling.  
________________________________________  
After what felt like forever, we finally reached our destination. I dismounted my horse and took a few steps towards the building. my ass must feel like a lazer has been shot right through it from having a certain monkey stare at it so much. then again, his stares are harmless. He can jerk off to twisted thoughts of me for all I care. As long as he keeps his damn distance, trouble is spared for the both of us. And if he does try something, like I said, his balls are goners.

Moving on then, I walked through the handle-less doors without wasting time looking at the building from the outside. I’ve already seen the picture so I might as well spare the unnecessary details.

Taking a few more steps inside, with Gelgar right behind me (too close for comfort) we found ourselves walking in a wide corridor. At the end, we found a double door that actually has handles on it! Horray!

The minute I walked through the door and I knew something feels... off. no, it’s not Gelgar’s morning breath on my neck, it’s something else. Elbowing the asshole in the gut forcing an “Omph” out of him to keep his Goddamn distance, I kept my eyes wondering around the area. Is this really a factory? Far as I know, the Titans never entered the place. How could they tell it was a factory? The building from the outside didn’t give off the factory vibe and it sure as hell doesn’t look like it from the inside. there were hooks hanging from all over the ceiling. There was even one with half an animal hanging from it and the smell is not something you’d want to try. And there were pieces of rotten meat and dried out blood blotches on the floor. Lord knows who all these pieces of flesh belonged to. Some of them could belong to a human for all I know. There were reports of monster attacks and, trust me, these were not pretty.  
Speaking of pretty, the other side of the room had a huge meat grinder that’s stuffed with remains of meat and.. is that a hoof I see sticking out of it?? Are they tossing the animals whole inside or something??  
Anyway, it doesn’t need a rocket scientist to tell what this place is.  
This is not a factory.  
It’s a butchery.  
Hanji will be so proud…

Alas, if only I had someone more reliable to share the info with. we could be discussing the possible history of this place for all I know. But what can I say? All I have for company is just a guy with a ridiculous pompadour hairdo who only wants into my pants. And I assure you, if I tried to get something useful out of him, I’ll receive shit like “this place is not as old as how I feel for you, Hotness~ wink wink”. Yeah.. so unimpressed. I don’t even know what he’d say if I commented on the blood on the floor.  
So instead of torturing myself with more thoughts of this drivel, I walked across the room to the far end of the gore splattered hall, all the way heading to another double door that looked sturdy. the freezer, I suppose? 

Sure enough, when I pushed the door open, I was greeted with the sight of countless slaughtered pigs and cows all hanging from the ceiling by hooks. Their abdomens were sliced open all the way from between their hind legs to their throats. Their guts were left sprawled everywhere on the floor. But the sight itself was not the issue at hand. From what it seems, the freezer have been left nonfunctional all this time, and when an unlucky fool such as myself opens the door for the first time in who knows how long, the odor rushes outside like a volcano eruption. Uugghh I think my eyes are starting to tear! Oh Sweet Lord! The aroma is just fantastic! I quickly shut the fucking door with enough force to almost cause a small earthquake before I start vomiting out my ears. It didn’t take me a lot of time though to compose myself. And that’s good cuz the last thing I need is having Gelgar see me in this condition and tries to play hero. Speaking of which…

“hey, Nanny! There’s nothing wrong with this place and it stinks! Can we go now?” I scoffed and decided to ignore him. You choose to come along, then you get to be patient. And if you wanna get your ass out, the door is right over there. his absence won’t hurt my performance whatsoever.  
I saw a flight of stairs nearby the door that led to that room from Hell. I carefully took the first step and it slightly creaked under my weight, it didn’t seem too dangerous though. I tried shaking the railing to test how sturdy it was. Once I deemed it safe enough to climb, I made my way over to the upper level, which is just a long narrow catwalk that gives me a better view from up here. From my place, I could see Gelgar poking at a piece of meat with his shoe. Just what’s the point of what he’s doing? What does he expect to find underneath it, a quarter?? See the level of intelligence I’m dealing with?

I went to look at the other side of the catwalk when I heard something like a machine coming back to life. When I turned around to see what that was, I saw Gelgar sitting crouched near the meat grinder. So this place still has electricity. Huh..  


“hey look! It’s working!” he yelled from down there over the whirring sound of the death machine. He definitely deserved an eyeroll for this. I can see that, genius.  
I was busy surveying the area from my spot up there when.. is this the sound of doors opening? Me and Gelgar turned our heads at the same time to the source of the sound, before I could even think up a bunch of countless possibilities, a fellow female soldier had walked through the door. I recognized her instantly; she was from the Trost branch, too. Sometimes we’d talk whenever we see each other whether on the field or at the barracks. I’m not very interested in forming a strong friendship with her, but she remains a good acquaintance and makes for a better company than You Know Who. Not exactly a good fighter and awfully shy. She can’t salute a superior officer without shaking or stuttering. What she is doing here is beyond me. Then again, she’s a soldier. Shy or not, you carry on with what you must do.

She timidly walked through the doors as if afraid she’d a find ghost waiting for her or something. But nope, this is something worse than a ghost: it’s Gelgar. i saw him taking a few steps towards her and she seemed relieved to see him. They talked for a while and then she looked around for a bit until her eyes fell on me. She waved at me from her spot on the lower level.

“hi, Nanaba!” she hollered. 

“hey, Lucy”. i finally had her drop the honorifics. just because i'm higher ranking than her doesn't mean she has to get formal around me seeing as i'm not her superior. the girl sometimes can be too polite for her own good owing to her submissive nature

I waved back murmuring my reply. That’s when I decided that I’ve spent enough time on the catwalk so I went to the top of the stairs. As I was descending the steps, she was already running towards me with a weak smile looking as scared as ever with a reason or not, let alone standing in the middle of a butchery full of dead animal (and maybe human) remains. But no need to tell her about that last part, yes?

“what are you doing here?” I asked her the very cliché and predictable question one would normally ask in a situation like this, feeling awfully curious. Who wouldn’t be? was she sent here too by her superiors?

“Gelgar texted me and sent me the location on the GPS. I was actually nearby taking my morning walk with my horse when he told me what you guys were up to”.

Can’t say I’m surprised. Gelgar is the type of guy who’d be rude enough to invite friends over to a house that doesn’t belong to him. Technically, he didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not uncommon for fellow soldiers to ask for backup during a small investigation like this even if they weren’t the ones the mission is assigned to. I’m just giving you a general idea of who I’m dealing with. Though something is telling me he called her for reasons other than backup. He could’ve asked her to come over to entertain him for all I know. You can never tell with that guy.

I nodded my head knowingly pursing my lips as I absorbed what she said. Since this topic didn’t have anything to dwell on anymore, I switched over to the main one at hand. I decided to leave these two to themselves. I don’t know what Gelgar feels about Lucy; whether he thinks of her as a friend or another potential fuck object. Needless to say, if he tries to make a move on her without her solid consent, I’ll toss him in the meat grinder. Problem solved. with the thought confirmed in my mind, I turned my attention over to my surroundings.  


There’s a reason to believe that this place hasn’t been managed by normal people previously, or maybe it had but then something happened to change that. Why, you might ask? Well, Because the evidence is everywhere: the remains of meat and blood on the floor. the abandoned butchered animals. I mean, if this place wasn’t deserted on such a short notice, why would they leave their work behind? Something must have forced them to go. You don’t just leave these animals “hanging” (get it?). and I may not be an expert on animal butchery, but you don’t toss them in the meat grinder without cutting them up properly. The hoof I saw earlier in the meat grinder still unnerved me. Which, speaking of, is gone by the way. When dildo head turned the machine on, it swallowed everything inside it, taking the severed appendage with it.

So here’s my theory:  
the previous owners of this place could have been normal humans. But an attack might have occurred, say a fiend attack for instance, and all hell broke loose. This could also mean that the animals weren’t the only ones being slaughtered here. I could be standing on what’s left of someone’s hand for all I know. And not necessarily a fiend or those weird monsters, this place might’ve been operated by one of those zombified fellows who could be feeding from those animals. This should also explain the disorganization and all that gore being haphazardly thrown everywhere. 

If Levi sees this mess, he’ll start shitting bricks. His reactions could range between “what the fuck is this shitty mess?” and “tch, filthy…” I could imagine him tiptoeing between the blotches of blood on the floor so as not to dirty his squeaky clean boots, all the while blocking his nose with a handkerchief. I wonder what he’s doing? What’s everyone doing? Are they thinking about me right now or are they still in a staring contest with the ceiling? And before I left the barracks, I remember seeing Kojou and Aero playing a game of footsies under the table while having their breakfast, now it feels like forever since I have last seen them. That’s when I realized how much I have started to miss home and everyone. It’s one of these moments when you leave your house for a few hours, but when so many things happen in such a short time span, you feel like you’ve been away for days and everything you have seen before that feels like a distant dream.

“… that’s when I screamed at Thomas ‘who drank my last bottle of vodka??’” aaaand the moment is ruined. i don’t even need to turn around to know that Gelgar must be mouthing off to Lucy about one of his legends. I’m tellin’ ya, that guy can’t hold his liquor yet stupidly protective over it. one time before I joined the scouts, I was holed up in a room with Gelgar and some of the other Trost soldiers taking a break in one of the checkpoints during one of our missions. When Gelgar took the bottle out of his bag and discovered that it was empty, he got apeshit and threw the bottle to the wall and it got smashed to bits. One of the tiny glass shards even got into someone’s eye. Bastard got so angry he kept screaming and yelling and “demanded to find the culprit”. It took a while for everyone to calm him down and send the other poor guy over to the infirmary to have his eye checked. And that’s when the fun part comes in: Gelgar was the one who finished the bottle but was too drunk to remember… ok, I’ll leave you a moment to facepalm and/or shake your head. I know, This amount of idiocy is so hard to comprehend that it actually takes a while to take in. and my opinion? Drunk or not, the IQ of that guy will always remain questionable. So it doesn’t really make a difference when he starts on one of his “WHY IS RUM GONE!!” scenes of his.

So before I allow myself to get further distracted with more condescending thoughts of that drunkard wannabe, I stepped deeper into the place and spotted a door that I haven’t noticed before. It was located right under the staircase that I had climbed a while ago and, naturally, it had huge spots of dried up blood on it. See where I’m coming from when I say that this place is insane?

And what do I do on an investigation mission when I see something like this? Investigate it of course! I jogged over to the door, but before I placed my hand on the handle, I heard voices behind it. It sounded like someone.. grunting or making weird gurgling noises. I almost spit my heart outta my mouth. I was entirely taken aback by what I’m hearing. not because it freaked me out, but because I was entirely under the notion that no one was here. So it completely took me by surprise that I’d stumble across another person here, let alone one who makes noises like these.

Which is all the reason why I should be careful. These voices seemed familiar and not the good type. I carefully opened the door, and silently pushed it open, it was a small room full of… oh… Good God Almighty… are these....

But my horrified thoughts were cut off by chewing and crunching sounds coming from the far right corner of the room, and that’s when I saw the source of that noise. It was someone crouched down on the floor with his back facing me and seemed to be eating something. I instantly knew what was coming. When the fucker turned his head to look at me, he dropped what he had been eating, stood up and turned in my direction growling at me with a foamy mouth and angry bloodshot eyes like a rabid dog. With stiff muscles and creaky joints, He launched himself at me while flailing his arms in his murderous attempt to get me. Exactly two seconds later, the fucker had a knife stabbed at his head and right through his brain, ultimately leading to instant death. I still had my hand wrapped around my knife as I took an uninvited look at his still open mouth up-close and personal. His mouth was surrounded by a thick layer of blood and saliva, and I could see tiny pieces of rotten meat stuck between his teeth, totally not like the average person who has a piece of spinach stuck instead. And what’s worse that he hadn’t bothered to swallow what was inside his mouth, so the chewed up meat was still there waiting for it’s turn to be swallowed which will sadly never happen. the bastard’s eyes became dilated and his entire body went limb, telltale signs of his demise. So I forced my knife out of his skull emitting a “squelch” noise out of it, and left him to drop lifelessly to the floor. that’s when I finally took a good look at what he had been feasting on.

It was a human head, or what’s left of it. it was split unevenly in half (we all know where the other half is) and I could detect parts of brain leftovers and the other eye that was staring into nothing. The lower jaw was more or less intact but the tongue was missing. There was dry curly hair sticking out from the other uneaten half and the decayed condition of the head made it look and feel like steel wool pad.

And the rest of the people in the room didn’t face a better fate. You heard me. I said “people”. Cuz that’s what’s been hanging from the hooks this time. When I said that the animals weren’t the only victims here, I didn’t expect things to reach this level of gruesome. and this is one of the times when you hate being right.  
They were naked and their bodies weren’t treated in the nicest of ways. some of them were hanging from hooks that went right through their ankles, some took it through the neck, some were hanging from the skin of their backs, Some of them were sliced open like those pigs and cows from that useless freezer, some were missing pieces of arms, legs, fingers, lower jaw, genitals, even one of them had a huge chunk of his left side missing, you could see his ribs and intestines poking out.  
Even this unfortunate guy who was hanging upside down had this junk removed and what’s left between his legs is a bloody opening where his business used to be. And a poor woman whose breasts were sliced clean off. Another had their head chopped off and I couldn’t have told if this was a man or a woman if I hadn’t taken a look at their groin.

It was a girl who must have been on her period when the attack took place because no one bothered to remove her tampon. Well, that uterus won’t continue to contract anymore. I wonder if she was the owner of that head? Well, it’s kind of hard to tell since that Zombie did a number on it, it became unrecognizable.  
Strangely enough, when you see a butchered cow, a piece of cooked ham, or when you see a dear’s head hanging on top of the fire wall like you see in those movies, it doesn’t bother you one bit (unless you were being sentient with that animal but that’s not the point). If a human is involved, however, and I mean cutting him into pieces to be cooked and ready to serve, that’s when your head gets filled of all these morbid thoughts “this is such a horrible death” “nothing is left of him” “who knew he’d have died like this” “what a terrible way to go” ”what kind of a person that poor guy was?” “what was his life like?”. Cuz this is exactly the kind of mental turmoil I’m having right now. Don’t worry, I’m not losing my mind or anything. I’m no stranger to death and I have seen a shitton of corpses in my line of job. I’m just… feeling sorry for them, you know?

I approached that guy who was hanging from his neck, mandible missing, tongue hanging out, eyes looking as lively as his condition. What was his name? how old was he? What was he like? What about his friends or family? I could’ve gotten emotional had it been someone I know.  
Imagine yourself on the day you were born, all the way through your childhood until you become an adult, all these days are spent normally with no one having anyway of knowing how these days were going to end. Not from a disease, a car accident, or old age, but by becoming someone’s kill to have for the three meals.  
Imagine yourself getting up from bed for what seems to be the last time to get ready for work, everything fine and dandy, the day goes on with you working in peace and perhaps laughing with your colleagues. Then before you know it, you get assaulted by bloodlust raged zombies and you find yourself hanging from a hook missing your clothes and body parts. And whoever is waiting for you at home; parents, siblings, a mate or even your pet dog, haven’t the slightest idea of what has become of you. this goes to show that you can never tell which day is going to be your last and how it will end. And when that day arrives, it doesn’t show it until it’s too late. Your fate is sealed the second you come out to life, and when that happens, the countdown begins.

“Nanaba! Where did you go?” I snapped out of my grim daze when I heard Lucy calling for me. This is bad. I can’t let her set foot inside and see what I’m seeing. the girl gets squeamish if she so much as sees someone picking their nose, let alone a group of dead bodies with their insides exposed. But not the Levi type of squeamish. He gets easily disgusted, yes, but remains composed nonetheless with that unamused expression of his. And he sure as hell isn’t fazed by the sight of death. I’m talking about the type when you literally can’t stomach it anymore and rush to the nearest toilet to kiss your lunch goodbye. But Lucy’s condition is.. worrisome to say the least. She’s a soldier but doesn’t act like one. She has little to no fighting experience and her performance in the field is badly limited. Even during training, she’s a total klutz. How she made it to the military is beyond the comprehension ability of any psychic, but if someone like her witnesses this sight beforehand, they’ll be practically paralyzed and spend their days on a wheel chair. I know I might be exaggerating but this is how freaked out Lucy is going to be.

“Nanaba??” oh shit! Her voice and footsteps are getting closer. I hurried out the room and shut the door behind me at a speed unmatched by Hermes himself. Can’t risk having this poor thing going through therapy. That’s right, spare her the mental shock, Nobody needs that. Dammit, Gelgar. why did you have to bring her? I’m surprised she actually stayed here so far in the middle of all this carnage.

I saw her hurrying in my direction with Gelgar not far behind her. I must be sweating buckets cuz they both looked at me like I was hiding a dirty little secret, which’s not far from the truth to be honest. I felt like a kid hiding his porn magazines from his parents, which shows how vulnerable I had felt this moment.

“what were you doing in there?” Gelgar asked me, looking suspicious and awfully eager to hear what I have to say.

“um, investigating?” nice one, Nanaba! I should pat myself on the shoulder later for coming up with such a marvelous revelation.

“we know that, silly!” giggled Lucy while Gelgar rolled his eyes “we just wanted to know if you have found something in this room”. Oh I have found something, alright. Something that’d be better off for you to not know.

“Nothing of concern. move on” I tried pushing these two away while acting as natural as possible. One stutter or a slip-up and they might suspect I’m hiding something, and it’ll just encourage them further to barge into the room only to be met with a wonderful sight that’s worthy of a horror film prize. Somehow, I managed to persuade these two that they shouldn’t waste their time – and sanity – on investigating a room I have already finished with myself. luckily, they didn’t resist cuz the more they do, the more I’ll persist on not letting them in. and the more I persist, the more peculiar my behavior would sound. And we don’t need things to get more complicated. 

Once we were far enough, I scanned the place one last time to make sure I didn’t miss anything while dwelling on what I have discovered so far. I have already confirmed that this place is definitely not normal. Judging from how things went and seemed, there’s a possibility that this abandoned slaughter house may or may not be a Zombie/fiend hideout. but if so then where are the rest? Don’t tell me this could be a trap… they must’ve seen us coming through the windows and - ok, don’t panic. I have already looked around and made sure the coast is clear. There’s no way they could make themselves invisible like this. I mean, where could they be hiding anyway? between the floor tiles? Inside Gelgar’s pants? Then there’s the possibility that they’re outside wreaking havoc somewhere and we’re standing in the middle of their lair unarmed. Even my knife and CQC moves won’t help much against a horde of those guys.

I’ve decided that enough is enough. the blood, the corpses, and the Zombie I found all gather to reveal that this place is batshit crazy and isn’t afraid to show it. I thought of calling Hanji and tell her the great news, but I decided to wait till I’ve gotten home first and give her an oral report over a nice cup of tea. And then we’ll see what measures she’ll undertake next. But right now, we could be in terrible danger just by staying here.

Before I even moved a muscle to make my next move, I heard a scream that you can only hear in your nightmares.  
I could already tell what happened even without looking behind me. But I did turn around to spot Gelgar and Lucy standing at the entrance to the room that had the human corpses in it. and since Gelgar was the one at the front, he must’ve been the one to have opened the door. and the two of them got an eyeful of what was waiting for them inside.

Gelgar, you wanker!

After the two poor souls have gotten their fill of what’s in there, they hurried in my direction bawling their eyes off. Well, Lucy did at least. I didn’t exactly look at Gelgar since I was more concerned about Lucy, whose nerves seem to be in shambles. I tried to take a look at Gelgar as well. Despite my dislike for the guy, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be concerned for his wellbeing in case things get serious. And today seemed to be one of those cases.

But before I could do anything, they pushed passed me trying to reach for the door. I ran behind them trying to stop them. I can’t just leave them to panic like that. I know that there is no means of comfort in the world that could help them feel better in the meantime, but the least I could do was to calm them down a bit so they’d be well enough to ride their way home. At least, that was my plan, but it was interrupted in the most heinous way possible. nothing could’ve prepared me for what happened next.  
Before I could reach for their shoulders, the whoreson pushed Lucy out the way screaming “out the way, bitch!” while bolting for the door leaving the girl to fall into the meat grinder which, by the way, was still up and running. 

What happened next was unspeakable; she instinctively reached out and got ahold of my arm, promptly pulling me down with her. My mind went blank as I felt gallons of hot sticky blood being splattered on my face, my hair, and my clothes. Basically, my entire front view has been covered by the blood of my own comrade. I could barely register Gelgar’s screams in the background. And that’s not the end of it, I was unwillingly following her into this death hole. I saw my hand disappear amongst all the blood and guts flying everywhere, I could feel the skin on my hand getting torn to shreds, but I managed to free it at the last second before it sustained further damage, since the one who has been getting ahold of it was disappearing into oblivion.

I took a few steps back, watching the horrible scene unravel before me, with nothing to do but to struggle to stand on shaky legs. I kept backing away while the meat grinder was busy finishing up it’s meal. Lucy’s body going down and down with her legs sporadically shaking with the force of the machine swallowing her further into nothingness. The sickening sounds of bones being crushed, flesh being shredded, clothes being torn and blood being splattered with loud splashes on the floor didn’t help the situation.

Too shocked to believe what’s been happening, I couldn’t take it anymore and fell on my ass on the blood-caked floor. When I turned my head towards the door, I saw it still swinging on it’s hinges and Gelgar’s footsteps fading away into the distance. That piece of shit… that piece of shit… too eager to flee at the nearest chance, huh? Heck, even the dust he left in his wake didn’t have time to settle down before he entirely fled the scene like the motherfucking pussy he is.  
I’ve said before that I don’t have anything against him. But now? Now I haven’t held a grudge against someone like this very moment. He can go back and drown his fucking sorrows in his vodka for all I give a damn. The next time I see him, he’s dead to me…

But this was not the time to start planning his demise. Apparently, the machine has had it’s fill, or more accurately, short-circuited. Smoke started coming out of it while the whirring sound gradually toned down. Once it had completely turned off, i mustered up the strength to get up and take a few steps closer to inspect the chaos, sobbing and sniffing and shaking all the while. I guess an old piece of machinery like this couldn’t handle a whole human body inside it, but it was more than strong enough to do some lethal damage. 

Lucy…  
Oh my God..

Her body went stuck halfway through, now you can see her legs sticking outside at abnormal angles. Her hip bones must have been crushed to give off that weird position. Everything in her upper half is gone for that matter. Speaking of which, I walked over to the other side of the machine still holding my injured hand to see, to my dismay, her remains jutting outside from the opening. ground up flesh, bones, hair and clothes could be seen squeezing their way out. I even managed to detect the broken bits and pieces of that necklace she used to wear. And if i hadn’t broken free, who knows what could have been left of me? 

I’ve seen lots of people die horrible deaths before. May they be soldiers from our military formation or another, fighters from another affiliation, the enemies themselves or even normal civilians whose luck made them have a run-in with an angry B-level fiend. they were either split in half, degutted, beheaded, got their bones and insides completely crushed, or get devoured altogether. But none of them even begin to compare to this one particular death I just witnessed, and it just so happens to be a friend..

Not being able to take this anymore, I’ve finally reached my limit and broke down on my knees with my bloody hands clutching at my hair in agony. Traumatized by my friend’s terrifying death. Traumatized by my near death experience. I could feel my tears, snot and sweat mixing in with the blood on my face and body turning me into more of a mess than I already was. The hand that I almost lost to the machine hurt like a bitch, but I couldn’t give a damn at this point.

Then I felt a wave of exhaustion pouring over me like the Tsunami. That’s when I realized how exhausted I was. Come to think of it, ever since that series of missions we’ve been undertaking in the past few weeks were finally over and I haven’t taken a proper rest, and with what had happened lately, it all started to take a toll on my body. This is not good. I have to bail outta here. the longer I stay here next to the mangled remains of my former comrade, the more I’m most likely risking my sanity and safety. with my defenseless position, I could end up like one of those victims.

“Hurry” I told myself. I quickly got up feeling dizzy and sick. and if I had had anything for breakfast, I could’ve lost it right then and there. But all I did was gagging and coughing and spitting out some unwanted saliva and bile. I must have even had some of Lucy’s blood go into my mouth if the metallic taste was anything to go by.  
But I still forced my way to the doors, pushed them open with my shoulder since I was busy holding my almost shredded hand, and went out to the wide corridor. But there was only so much distance you could cover in a condition like mine. Leaning with my shoulder against the wall, I slid myself to the floor again feeling like I was gonna faint, which doesn’t sound so bad actually. But instead, I was wide awake sitting alone against the wall at the entrance of a damned butchery, bloodied and tired, scared for my life, crying my ass off.

If I were in a mentally better condition, I could’ve called someone to come and get me. But I was too out of it to think of something reasonable. all I had were these depressed thoughts coming at me one after the other..  
The investigation is over…  
This is just a fucking butchery most likely rundown by Zombies…  
Mission accomplished…  
I’m sitting here losing my mind near the entrance of what seems to be my friend’s grave…  
Job is done…  
I hope you’ll be satisfied, Hanji…  
Mystery is solved…  
But at what price?


	2. Levi to the rescue

“she’s not back yet. What’s she doing??”

“don’t get your briefs in a twist, Levi. She’ll be back any minute”. That’s exactly the kind of typical response you should expect in a situation where you’re the only who gets worried about something while the others shrug it off. I felt like one of those parents whose kids have been out until midnight and haven’t returned home yet. But apparently, ol’ Hanji isn’t feeling too motherly today.

Erwin must have heard the commotion going on over his tamer, cuz he raised his head and looked at us worriedly, but before he could say anything, I placed my hand on his head between those feathery ears of his soothingly massaging it. I cooed and whispered to him some words of reassurance with the promise that I’d find his tamer, dead or alive. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned that last part… cuz he tried to get up looking as if he was about to piss himself, but I forced him back down again. this guy is in no condition to move let alone go anywhere.

“you know that there’s always the possibility of something going wrong? You can’t just ignore that” I continued my bitching at Hanji while still keeping my hand on Erwin’s head “You’ve sent Nanaba out to an abandoned place if I need to remind you. And last time I checked, these places get abandoned for a reason!”

“is something wrong?” before I even finished my anxiety-driven lecture, Mikasa stepped into the resting room. Her Renamon, Ryuki, followed behind her then headed over to the window to open it and sit on the ledge, which became quite the habit for the ninja fox thingie. The brat must’ve woken up just a while ago because her hair looked like Medusa’s hair. I almost considered not looking into Mikasa’s eyes so I wouldn’t turn into a stone statue. Damn, I read too many Percy Jackson novels. This is Cloud’s fault for getting me into them in the first place.

“your squad leader has been sent to investigate some kind of a factory, and I’m demanding your commander to let me go after her” I finished the last half of my sentence while sending a sideways look to Hanji with a hidden meaning behind it. well, not exactly hidden since i have made my intentions clear enough, but she has to know I’m serious about going.

“is Major Nanaba okay? Did something happen?” asked Mikasa seemingly getting more alarmed by the minute.

“hopefully not, but she hasn’t been back yet when it should’ve been an easy investigation quest. Doesn’t that count for anything, Shitty Glasses?” the reason for Hanji’s lovely nickname is because she wears those ridiculous pair of goggles whenever she uses the gear or ride on Kaiju, her Megadramon, to avoid having dust and gusts of air get into her eyes. And when she’s not doing any of that, she fixes them on her forehead or hangs them around her neck, making her look more beauti – shit, this is not the time!

“alright, go after her. Might as well lend a hand if something did happen. you Ackermans can’t be ignored with that sixth sense of yours”. Finally someone decided to think with logic.

“want me to come with you?” Mikasa chimed in.

“no, brat. I don’t think it’s going to be necessary”.

“come on, captain! Lemme tag along!” said a new loud voice.

“Marcus, it’s really not…”

“please! Have at least one of us come with you!” this is Yaze’s turn to beg. I decided to put an end to this before it turns into a chorus of “please”s and “come on”s.

“enough! I appreciate you wanting to help but it’s not needed. I’ll go look for your superior and be back before you know it. that’s final.”

“but I didn’t respond when she offered to have someone come with her. I’m kind of feeling bad for that”. mumbled Marcus, looking sorry as if he had broken my favourite tea cup or something just as atrocious.

“you weren’t required to accompany her, Marcus, so it’s not something you should feel bad over”.

“but what if she needed help and no one was there to h – hmph!” I clasped my hand over his mouth almost breaking his jaw. I didn’t mean to sound cruel, On the contrary, it makes me proud to have those bratty teens show some responsibility. But I hate it when they beat themselves up over something no one could’ve helped.

“even if something did happen, which hopefully is not the case, the fault won’t be yours or anyone else for that matter. Like I said, the assignment was optional and an easy one for that matter. You had every right to refuse or accept being backup.” He nodded his head with my hand still on his mouth like a muzzle. Which’s kind of ironic since I work these brats like dogs.  
I let him go most likely leaving a print on his face where my hand had caught a hold of. Bid Hanji and the others farewell, and without wasting another second, headed over to the stables. But not without one last thing:  
“and Yaze, I expect my tea by the time I get back”. And with that, I left. Hearing a small “yes, sir” as I closed the door.  
________________________________________  
I was making my way across the yard when I heard Jaegar flying in my direction. I continued walking while the big guy catches up, until I stood in front of Sierra’s empty stall.  
“where are you, Nanaba?” I whispered. dammit.. please be okay. I could hear the gruff neigh of Yaze’s Rapidash, Dashie, from his stall at the far end. His fire mane swishing violently and could’ve burned down the entire stable if these guys didn’t have control over their flames. I turned into the direction of the next stall to find who I’ve been looking for.

I opened the door to usher out Jessy, my black mare, her coat as shiny as ever thanks to me grooming her regularly, to the point that everyone would make fun of it and act up shit like “my eyes! They burn!” “someone bring my sunglasses!” “Y u so shiny!” sigh, some people just can’t appreciate cleanliness. Even her mane and tail are as straight as a ruler from brushing them once in a while. Her tail is long almost touching the ground with a whitish hue at the upper part of it. I went over to bring her stuff, that’s when I felt Jaeger land behind me.

“going somewhere?” I heard his voice behind me. When I looked at him, he sat on his serpentine tail with the end curling around itself. His huge metallic wings folded in and – is that a layer of dust covering him from top to bottom? How did I mess that? and he didn’t bother telling me. Tch, shitty bastard.

“Nanaba went out on a mission this morning and I’m going to get her. It’s been two hours since we’ve last heard from her”. I explained while putting the bridle and saddle on my mare.

“where could she be?”

“Hanji has sent her to go investigate for clues at some abandoned factory whom Titan Squad deemed suspicious enough to inspect.” I mounted Jessy and turned her to face my digimon “and Nanaba is taking her sweet ass time and I’ll go for her neck once I find her”.

“why didn’t the Titans get the job done themselves?”

“from what I have heard, they were heading home from a mission when they had come across the factory place. They were probably too worn out to enter the place themselves so they asked for our help. They were even generous enough to leave us a report though”.

“where’s that place anyway?”

“it’s 30 mins from here to the east. The address is written on the report I got from Hanji” that’s when I decided I’m having too much chitchat for what was most likely an emergency situation. So I turned my horse around and prepared to take my leave.

“can I come wi -“

“No! you stay here and recover. How’s your head?”

“still kinda hurts but I’ll manage”

“that’s enough for you to sit your ass here and make a proper recovery” then I turned my head to look at him one last time “and make sure to remind me to hose you down once I get back. You’re filthy”. And with that, I took off.  
________________________________________  
I could’ve had Jaeger give me a ride if it hadn’t been for his injury. His fight with the bird monster had been chaotic to say the least. Damn thing unleashed one of it’s lightning attacks opening a crack in Jaeger’s helmet, and that awoke the Virus digimon inside him putting him into a state of rage. He counterattacked without mercy, eventually killing off the shitheap by tearing out both it’s wings simultaneously with his pincers. when he came back to us, his crack was still shining with remains of electricity inside it, but it gradually worn down with time. In the meantime, he has to look like Harry Potter until that thick head of his re-shapes. Until then, I’m not letting him go anywhere. 

And that’s why we don’t always rely on our monster companions. They’re a great help, that can’t be denied, but unless you’re self-dependent even with your Familiar around, you’ll find yourself helpless in their absence. Even when we go out on an expedition or a quest, we mount our steeds while they either run/fly alongside us or scout ahead. It gives them more freedom to move around and act accordingly should anything happens. we do mount them occasionally, of course, We’d be stupid if we don’t. Anyone we know for that matter, even if they can magically develop wings, still resort to mounting their Familiars or fly/run next to them. According to Hanji, aside from conserving energy, it also helps to “increase the bond” or some hocus pocus like that. Well, my idea of a bond with Jaeger is to literally wash the shit out of him until i can see my reflection on him.

And that’s exactly what I’m going to do once I get back, but I have the rescue mission on my mind in the meantime. I can only hope that I’m not too la- wait, is that the place?  
I could see in the distance some building that looked as if a tornado had passed right through it. no wonder it caught Titan Squad’s eyes. And right in front of the door, I could see Sierra, a definite sign that Nanaba must still be inside. Next to her is another brown horse I didn’t recognize. I slowed down Jessy to a canter, then to a trot the more I close the distance between me and them. I dismounted her before she completely came to stop, then walked over to the distressed mare, who recognized me instantly and went to lick my hand when I offered it to her. I could tell she was kinda spooked with the way she kept snorting and swishing her tail and kicking the ground with her front leg.

“where’s your rider, girl?” I whispered. i could hear the anxiety in the tones of my own voice. I didn’t bother looking at the other horse since I really didn’t want to waste more time. I have an idiot to get.  
I turned towards the door, but before I completely faced the other direction, I could spot Jessy approaching Puffy and nuzzled at her. good. Poor thing must’ve needed some comfort. I left the two girls to handle each other while I took determined steps towards the entrance.  
I’m coming, Nanaba.  
The door had no handles. Even if it did, I wouldn’t have touched them anyway. I could tell this place didn’t meet some proper hygiene standards.  
I was two seconds away from kicking the door open when I heard those familiar sobbing sounds behind it… Nanaba!!  
Don’t tell me she’s injured! Judging from the sound of it, she must be badly hurt! Fuck me if anything happened to her.  
Without a moment to spare, I kicked the door open like a cowboy entering a bar.  
And that’s when I located her…  
This is bad..  
Really bad…

She’s in the filthiest state I could have witnessed her in, but this was the least of my worries. I ran over to her and crouched down beside her, she looked at me with emotionless eyes, then all off a sudden, she squeezed me in a hug and littered my face with a thousand kisses. Yeah, I’m happy to see you, too. This should’ve been one of my infamous “tch, so dirty” moments but this dilemma was really irrelevant in the meantime. I hugged back without hesitation rubbing soothing circles on her tense as hell back.  
“sshhhh, it’s okay, I’m here. calm down, Nanny, it’s alright” surprisingly, her sobbing calmed down. I expected her to explode into a series of weeping on my shoulder but she visibly relaxed all of a sudden. She nuzzled the crook of my neck (that fucking tickles) and her breathing has gotten steadier. That was definitely a relief. She’s okay!

I gave her a peck on her bloody cheek, most likely getting blood on my lips, I should remember to wipe them once this whole ordeal was over. Then I placed her head against my chest and nuzzled her hair. Oh my God.. there’s blood there, too. I left up my fingers to see them smudged with red spots all over them. What the hell happened?? Is this blood even hers? But she doesn’t seem to be in pain? Then whose is it? what caused her to look so.. dammit, so many questions and the only one who could answer them is in a state of shock. She needs help.  
I gently caught ahold of both cheeks, and made her look at me. She was such a mess. face bloody, eyes teary and nose snotty. I tenderly ran my fingers across her tussled hair, Trying to prepare her for what I’m going to ask, using my gentlest tone.

“Nanaba, what happened?” she flinched. Should I question her further or… “hun, please talk to me”.

“I’m going to kill him…” 

huh?

Her voice was low and groggy, probably from the exhaustion and crying for a long time, but the place had been so quiet that I managed to hear what she said. Has she been attacked? Did someone hurt her? Nanaba is fierce by nature and if someone tries to oppose her or anyone she cares for, they’re basically bringing doom upon themselves.  
But I didn’t have time to be more confused, for Nanaba started spouting out more enigmatic threats and profanities.

“he’s going to pay.. that son of a bitch.. I’ll slaughter the shit out of him!” her cries were getting more frantic and high-pitched with every threat. But before I could calm her down again, she said something that made me stop in my tracks.

“it’s all my fault…” way to make things more mysterious than they already were, Nanny. One minute you were promising to kill someone and blame yourself in the second. The famous phrase left her mouth in a chocked whisper that could barely be heard. I don’t know what the hell happened, but first thing is first.

“it’s okay, Nan. Don’t talk. I’ll hear what you have to say later. Let’s just go home” I stood up, suddenly feeling bad for leaving her on the floor like this. I reached out to help her up, but she yanked at my shirt giving me a small touching puppy eye, albeit a bit gory, that torn my heart apart. Then with a shaky hand, she pointed towards the door that lead to the inside of the building, still sniffing.

“but, Nan, this is not the time. Lemme get you outta here first and..”

“I’m fine, b-but.. you have to know what happened *sniff* just… just take a look” I was hesitant at first, but her condition didn’t seem to cause any rush. Plus, If I didn’t do as she said, she might get upset. And I don’t need her to get more restless in her fragile state of mind. In fact, it’s better for her if someone else shares her predicament, Instead of leaving her to be the only one dealing with it. it should also save her some explaining.

I headed over to the door she directed me to, opened it wide, and that’s when my eyes landed on the scene right in front me.  
Holy. shit.  
What the hell, Nanaba…?  
I slowly approached the half of a person who had been trapped in what seemed to be a meat grinder, but what’s a machine like this doing in a factory?? You usually see things like these in a… a butchery.

And to confirm what I had in mind, there were hooks hanging from the ceiling. And I think I spotted what’s left of a pig dangling in the far corner. And to make things worse, the floor was littered with blood and random pieces of meat.  
But I’m more concerned about the human remains. Someone fell into the meat grinder and, oh fuck me… their shredded remains lay on the other side of the machine on a metal tray.  
This is the kind of situation that makes me happy that no one is unnecessarily involved. it is one of the times when I get proud of my decision to leave the brats back home. They’re not from the faint of heart, but no need to disturb them further by letting them witness such a thing. Some of them started having nightmares already, and even though they’re very rare to occur, they’re still not a good sign. 

Directing my attention back to the scene, this person may have been a friend of Nanaba or something, most likely from the Trost branch because we don’t befriend anyone of those military police dickheads. Annie used to be an exception before she quit them to join us.

“her name was Lucy” I jumped and turned around to see Nanaba slowly walking towards me on wobbly feet. I didn’t even hear her..? nevermind. She carried on. “she was from the Trost branch. I’ve met her not long after I have joined the scouts. Poor thing barely had what it takes to be a soldier”

She finished her grief filled speech whispering the last sentence. With sad eyes, she looked at the remains of her friend. I expected her to have another breakdown at the scene like one would normally do, but she seemed capable of handling the sight yet another time. She just looked… lifeless.  
Her eyes remained fixated on her friend’s mangled corpse. No expression. No emotion. she must have had no more tears to shed, thus leading to her apathetic state.  
She must be silently mourning the girl. I know the feeling when you share a bond with someone, and when you look at their dead body, you can’t help but remember all the times you’ve spent together. You reminisce their past moments back when they were still alive, only to stare at their deceased state once you’re back to earth.  
Nanaba’s friend… she was alive at some point, laughing, crying, scared, surprised, now nothing more than a burger.

“it’s not over yet, Levi. There’s… one last thing you should know”

“there’s more?”

“Take a look at the door o-over there” she pointed with her head at the direction behind me. But before I went over, I stepped closer to her, put a hand on her shoulder directing her towards the exit.

“I will. I just want you to go outside and try to sit down. You can barely stand” she obediently walked with me following her, my hands not leaving her, until I seated her on the previous spot on the floor when I have first found her. I crouched down in front of her, gently caressing her cheek. I should’ve at least brought something to drink with me. The girl looked deprived. When was the last time she had something to eat?

“try to relax, Nan. I’ll be back soon” she silently nodded, barely having it in her to speak anymore. I stood up, opened the doors again, walked right past the grinder, and over to the room Nanaba told me to check. I had lots of guesses on what I might find in there, but something is telling me that I wouldn’t like it one bit.

Can’t say I’m surprised. The door was half open and I could already take a better peek at what’s behind it the more I got closer, so I already had a decent idea about what’s inside there before I finally opened it all the way.

Humans.

All hanging from the ceiling like culled animals. There was even a Zombie laying dead on the floor, he must have died recently judging from all the fresh blood gushing from a deep hole in his head, most likely Nanaba’s handy work. I slowly approached one of the bodies, carefully stepping on top of the Zombie and avoiding the blood - I just cleaned that boot - and stood right next to this guy who has been hanging from his back. His skin impossibly stretched to accommodate for all the hooks going through it. i reached out with my hand and touched him.. he’s relatively warm. Same goes for the others, whose blood was still slightly dripping, no wonder they haven’t started to smell yet. But the scent is still not something I’d recommend.

I decided I have had enough groping dead bodies, so I turned around to leave this madness, but I stopped dead in my tracks right at the doorstep, I spotted something in the far corner that seemed to be rotting. I took a better look at it and, lo and behold, it was a half-eaten human head. Could it have belonged to one of the people here? I turned around and tried to spot someone missing their head, and yup, found it. it was a girl with her tampon on, now bleeding from someplace else. And I wager that dead asshole must have had something to do with it before he made his departure.

With everything wrapped up, I made my way over to Nanaba again. she hadn’t moved one inch. She was sitting against the wall hugging her knees to her chest, staring into nothing, and when she saw me open the door, she relaxed a bit and straightened one of her legs. I took a seat right next to her not saying a word. It was pretty obvious that I have seen it all and she knew it.

We sat there silently for awhile, absorbing in all what had transpired in the past few hours. I wanted us to get moving already, even though Nanaba’s condition thankfully isn’t critical and doesn’t call for any urgent actions, we still have people waiting for us at home, most likely worrying their asses off. But the lass seemed too weak to move, so I decided to let her have some more rest while I call Hanji and tell her at least that Nan is okay, she can know the details once we return.

The phone call was easy to imagine: ranged between “where are you” and “are you okay” to “we’re fine” and “we’re on the way” bla bla de bla de bla. I made sure to let Hanji know that Nanaba was okay, cuz that was the most important detail at hand. I knew the ride home was going to take longer than ever with her condition. she wasn’t just mentally shaken, but she was actually physically weak as well. I don’t think I’ve seen her eat or sleep properly recently, and sending her out on a mission in a faraway location only to have her friend slaughtered right at her face is akin to adding insult to injury. 

I subconsciously licked my lips in deep thought when I felt the metallic taste – oh fuck shit! I forgot to wipe my mouth! i pulled out my handkerchief at lightning speed and sputtered and spit in it. I could feel Nanaba’s eyes on me, must be thinking: “what’s wrong with that crazy dwarf?”. I didn’t bother giving her an explanation. Instead, I pocketed the handkerchief and leaned closer to her.

“come here” I pulled her closer to me to envelope her into another hug with her head underneath my chin, completely forgetting about all the crap she’s covered in. my shirt must be a mess right now. I could imagine myself staring at a nightmare when I look at the mirror back home. This shirt is SO going into the laundry.

I got ahold of her hand and felt her tense up. What, did I do something wrong? with her head still close to my lap, I raised her hand at eye level and that’s when I saw these nasty wounds like she has just wrestled a tiger. She must have known I was going to question her about them, because she answered the query before I even took a breath to say it.

“I almost fell in with her” the shocking explanation left her mouth in a small sob and I didn’t need to prod her for more info, I already knew what she meant. It was one thing to lose her friend, but to almost share the same fate had never crossed my mind. I imagined setting out to find her, I enter the corridor but didn’t find anyone this time, I go inside only to find two bodies being trapped in the machine instead of one. I imagined finding locks of blonde hair amongst the minced human flesh.

Refusing to believe the idea, I squeezed her into a bigger hug, feeling happy and relieved that this was not the case at all. She’s still here living and breathing in my embrace. I may not still know all the details that explain how all this shit has started in the first place, but we can always leave these things for later. But there was something else that still worried me.

“we have to go. Your hand might get infected from having gotten in contact with that grimy machine. Why didn’t you tell me about it?” she looked at me as if trying to think of something to say, but her already broken mind didn’t help. I figured she must have been distracted with the disaster, she forgot to tell me. Or maybe remembered to, but didn’t bother for some reason. But frankly, I could care less. I gently pulled her up to her shaky feet. She truly was stressed out, mentally and physically. But we can’t stay here any longer. We have to move. Come on, Chop chop.

“nevermind. We’ll get you batched up once we get back. And more importantly, bathe you, you filthy fuck”. She giggled like the idiot she was. Yeah that’s right, the best way to cheer someone up is to insult the living hell out of them.

We went out to find our horses still waiting for us outside, Sierra losing her mind with ecstasy at the side of her rider finally coming back to her. Nanaba walked over to her horse while covering her eyes, I could imagine her hissing like a vampire at the sudden contact with sunlight. Just how long did she stay in there?

“hop on behind me. You can’t ride in your condition” that’s when I spotted her standing next to that brown horse I saw earlier. After what I have already learned, it was easy to deduce this horse must have belonged to Lucy. What the clueless animal didn’t know is that it’s owner is no more, still inside, all mangled up and shredded to tiny pits.

“once we get home, we’ll place May in one of the empty stable stalls to feed her. Then send her back to Trost to see what they’re gonna do with her” that was Nanaba’s plan to me when I walked over to her with the both of us patting the now owner-less horse.

“we’ll cross that bridge once we get there. let’s just move” I walked over to Jessy and climbed on top of her, Nanaba followed behind with my help, I made sure her arms were secured around my waist and her legs pressed firmly on both sides. I nudged Jess to move in the desired direction, the other two horses already preparing to follow behind us. Then without further ado, we set off.  
“levi?”  
“yeah?”  
“you’ve got dry snot on your neck”  
Fuuuuck….


	3. consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nana gets to rest and some shit

“Ah! You’re final ba - WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU!!” the outraged yet concerned screaming voice of Hanji was the first thing we were greeted with the second we stepped foot into the scouts premises. I let go of Levi’s waist soon as his horse slowed down, May and Seirra stopping behind us as well as we were all being quickly approached by half the scouting legion with their commander being the first to reach us. The voice of the constant anxious chattering of everyone, with Levi assuring them we were fine, all seemed like background noise to me. I literally tuned everything out and just sat still thinking about what just happened.

Lucy…

_“Major! Are you okay!”_

…She’s really gone….

_“Whose blood is this??”_

…She died a horrible death. All thanks to that dickhead.

_“What happened!?”_ Thoughts of revenge assaulted my mind at the mere thought of the dildo-headed son of a bitch. I barely registered Levi hopping off his horse as I remained seated on the black mare - My mind invaded with the mental images of Lucy’s death as if my head got haunted by her ghost to deliver the recent memories.

_“Captain! Is she alright?”_

Her screaming voice echoed in my head…

_“She’s not responding!”_

…. She was running in a panic….

_“Nanaba!”_

…Got pushed into the machine…

“NANABA!”

“!!!” I was knocked back to reality by Hanji’s voice. And that’s when I realized for the first time that I had creepily zoned out, further worrying everyone out more than necessary. I wanted to say something, anything to tell them I was fine, but it feels like I’ve lost my voice.

“Nanaba, please. Stay with us.” I heard Levi’s pleading voice, his hand resting on my thigh as an emphasis. “Come on now. Hop off.” I looked at him blankly, then reverted my look to the others whom I’ve finally noticed for the first time: Kojou. Kiriha. Yaze. Jean. Mikasa. The rest must still be inside unaware of what’s happening right now.

“Major?” I heard Kiri, one of my squad members, calling me looking as worried as the rest. They were all staring at me as if expecting I’m gonna explode at any moment. That’s when I realized that I had to pull my shit together.

And so I shakily started to dismount Levi’s horse, and was quickly grabbed by Hanji who was kind enough to notice that my knees weren’t helping me anymore.

“Call someone from the inside and tell them to prepare a bath and…” the buzzing noise inside my head covered up the rest. Whatever was said next sounded like it was coming from deep underwater. The last thing I saw before my already blurry vision turned completely black was everyone’s worried faces, who stepped aside to make place for Jean’s Pokemon, a massive krookodile, closing in me with deadly yet gentle jaws, to carry me to my resting place.

* * *

“She’s awake! Commander!”

“Eren, please… you’re.. too loud..” Finally trusted my voice to squeeze out something to say. Still too tired and disoriented to open my eyes as if my lids got glued together.

“Oh, sorry!” he apologized in a whisper. Much better.

“You totally freaked us out, Major.” The familiar voice of Ed could be heard close to me. “Don’t scare us like that again.”

“Hmm… ughhh…” I mumbled some intellectual shit which would make having a conversation with me a hard task.

“Ok, you two. Time to take her to the bathroom.” I heard the voice of Hanji which had followed the sound of her approaching footsteps from earlier. She must have heard Eren’s hard-to-ignore voice from wherever she was.

Ok, forget the glue. It’s like my eyelids were clipped shut by a stapler. So I used my hands to force them open and when I did, I realized that I’ve been lying on Hanji’s leather couch in her office. I was also stripped of the majority of my uniform – my boot and jacket were gone and my shirt was unbuttoned half way through for some ventilation. I started to slowly get up in a seating position, then after moment of gathering what’s left of my strength, I finally stood up without feeling dizzy this time. That period of unconsciousness must have done some good for me as I felt refreshed and strong enough to walk to the bathroom, Hanji not leaving my side. I heard her commanding the kids to clean up the couch and prepare something for me to eat. Then we finally walked into the bathroom where Levi was waiting.

Poor guy didn’t even change out of his shirt. In the short time span I was outcold, he got everything prepared for me: a bubble bath and some clean homewear he took from my room. I got out of my uniform then dipped into the water. Hanji took my dirty uniform and tossed it into the washing machine before heading outside, and Levi starting scrubbing my back.

“How are you feeling?” I heard him ask.

“Feeling good, actually.” And I wasn’t lying when I said that. Not only was it thanks to sitting in a tub full of bubbly water adjusted to perfect temperature, but with the careful hand of my savior massaging my body with the sponge did magic on me. That guy knows how to pamper you, honestly.

“Nana, I’m really sorry about your friend.” He said after a moment of silence when he proceeded to shampoo my hair.

“You should have seen how she was, Li. She literally jumps and shrieks if someone so much as sneezes loudly.” I said as I closed my eyes to prevent having shampoo in them.

“She wasn’t cut out for any of this. If she hadn’t joined the military, she could have had a better life somewhere else and perhaps even die a less horrible death. But she couldn’t even hold her own during the simplest quests.” I swallowed. “Back during Trost days, whenever we would go somewhere, I’d hear her yelling from behind us ‘hey wait for me!’ Talk about dragging yourself.”

“………”

“Some people just aren’t meant to be in the military.” I choked out. “And yet, you find someone like her stuck with us.”

“Nanaba -”

“I feel like I allowed her to fall to her death! If only I had been more careful!”

“Nan -”

“I regret letting her join that investigation - *cough* *cough* hey!” my guilt-ridden ranting was rudely interrupted when Levi poured a bucket of water on my head to rinse me out and to probably shut me up.

“That oughta make you listen.” He started as he turned me around and started scrubbing my chest. “There’s nothing to regret. If you saw this accident coming, you would have stopped it. But did you see it coming?” I shook my head. “Exactly. Life can’t be expected. No matter what decision we make, shit will always happen. No matter how wise or experienced we are, there’s this thing called fate.”

“I know… but some things should have been easily predicted. I mean think about it; there was a grinding machine up and running. That would mean someone might get hurt. So the best thing to do is to turn it off. But of course, I just had to learn that at the expense of someone’s life *cough* stop that!” will he knock it out with suddenly pouring water on me already??

“Because I can’t believe you’re actually dumb to blame yourself over something that wasn’t even your fault to begin with -”

“It could have been avoided, Levi!” I interrupted. “This accident could have easily been avoided but I - ” then I quickly sucked my lips as Levi warningly raised a bucketful of water with a ‘cram it or else’ look on his face.

“We can’t reprimand ourselves every time someone dies, Nanaba.” His expression softened. “Guilt and self-blame are natural parts of mourning so I understand where you’re coming from. But to needlessly blame yourself each time you lose someone is not fair for you and your mentality. The girl is gone, Nana. And I’m really sorry for your lose but you have to let go of the past, and learn from what happened to prevent accidents like these in the future.” That was enough to keep me quiet until the end of bathtime.

* * *

I was drying myself up when I heard Levi grumble something along the lines of ‘water is fucking filthy’. And when I turned to see what he was talking about, I saw what looked like soap made from frogs and shoes. To think I’ve just been bathing in this garbage water… now I see why Levi doesn’t approve of baths very much. He wanted to shower me first so I wouldn’t have to float in my own gunk but Hanji said that there was no time for that as my food was going to be ready soon and that I’ll have to give an oral report of what happened ASAP. She got panicky when she learned that someone died from my investigation when I was asked about the owner of the horse I brought along.

Speaking of May, they must have taken her to one of the extra stalls we keep for when someone visits us and they bring their steed or any other Familiar with them. Once I get things cleared out with my fellow higher-ranking officials, we’ll head over to Paradis main military building to hand in the reports of the incident and, while we’re at it, hand the horse over to someone at Trost to determine a new owner for her. Poor thing will never see her friend again. It’s a blessing for her that she isn’t aware of what had happened.

On the way to my room accompanied by Levi, we were approached by the last of our subordinates; Marcus, Air Groove and Annie. Needless to say that they kept throwing one worried question after the other asking about my wellbeing. Even when I assured them I was okay, they seemed unnerved by my mangled hand. If only they knew… I was finally seated on my bed in clean pajamas; hand sterilized and bandaged alongside a tray topped with perfectly made cheese and turkey sandwiches and a long cup of orange juice on my lap. It would be a surprise if I didn’t gobble down all that like a crocodile – oh, I did! Not three seconds have passed and half the sandwich was already gone.

“Um, Commander. I finished my report regarding the recent expedition.” Marcus couldn’t say that without keeping his eyes off of my hand. I’d be distracted too if one of my own got injured and covered in blood under unknown circumstances.

“Thank you, Marcus. Tell the others to stack their reports on my office once they’re done…” I overheard the following conversations while I was mercilessly munching on my food as Hanji lied by my side on the bed whereas Levi just sat on a chair next to us – both waiting for me to finish up and start talking. Erwin, my Gryphonmon, lied down next to the bed by Levi’s chair. The Hero Level Digimon was limping as he barged in the room looking for me with an anxious look on his tired bird face. I can tell he still hasn’t recovered from the day before. But unlike me, he actually bothered to have some sleep.

Once in a while, a subordinate accompanied with their Digimon and Pokemon partners would come checking in on me and, while they’re at, have a quick talk with their commander to report their latest activities. I sure am glad I was done with my report the minute we came back from that fateful expedition. I don’t need something like that occupying my mind and preventing me from finally having a good rest. Come to think of it, it must have been one of the reasons why I was extremely tired from the day before; because I didn’t bother taking a break and on top of that, went on that shitty investigation mission. It might come off as an excuse by this point but in my defense, I just don’t like unfinished business. Speaking of which… After I was finished with my meal, it was time to tell those two everything. Besides what Levi already saw out there, there was more to reveal on my end. However, I didn’t want Erwin to be informed about everything just yet. Technically, he’s also a superior officer just like us. But he’s still looking like a train wreck and there was no way I was gonna keep him awake to hear the story when he’s looking ready to fall apart. So after a stern order from me, he reluctantly walked out the room to sleep some more after promising him that I’m gonna tell him everything once we got it all cleared out.

Once Yaze walked in to take the tray away, he was ordered by Hanji to close the door behind him and to tell the others to not walk in until it was opened again. Which makes me wonder if those kids will ever learn of what happened. Is Hanji gonna keep the incident classified? She wouldn’t, would she? It’s true that horrible events like these are occasionally kept a secret so it wouldn’t affect the morale of other fellow soldiers and to also prevent the spread of horror among them. Furthermore, we just came back from a warlike expedition. Stressing everyone out with things they didn’t need to know about is out of the question.

But at the same time, it might outrage them if they were to be kept in the dark and might push for answers until we spill the beans for them. In fact, it would be best of them to learn of these things so they wouldn’t remain oblivious to how horrible a turn of events could become. They aren’t little kids. They’re fully trained soldiers who are perfectly qualified in their field. Things like these, however horrifying they are, they aren’t strangers to.

One time, Eren lost his temper when he was fighting against that thug leader and sliced his head clean off with his blade. Unnecessarily brutal action but goes to show how fierce those kids can be when pushed to their limits. I felt conflicted really. Should we tell them or not? On the one hand, they might get badly unnerved by the accident especially when we freshout came back from a big battle and the news might keep them from relaxing. But on the other hand, they’re quite desensitized to death and furthermore could use the extra experience to teach them to be more focused and cautious. But I’ll cross that bridge once we get there. In the meantime, I gotta focus on the issue at hand of revealing what I have learned.

“Nana?” I felt Hanji’s gentle hands caressing my hair, as if carefully prompting me to talk.

“First of, I want to file a report against Gelgar. I want that fucker executed.” I gritted my teeth.

“Who? Is that guy whose hair looks like a vibrator?” asked Levi.

“Hold up, Nanaba. Not so fast. I still gotta learn what happened fir – “

“He was the reason Lucy died!” I snapped.

“What the hell…” Levi almost spit his… tea? When did he get that? Either I wasn’t paying attention or that guy magically sprouts tea out of his tiny ass.

“I’m not ordering an execution against anyone until I learn what the hell happened at that damn factory, Nanaba.” Said Hanji in a voice stern beyond argument.

“It was a butchery!” I deadpanned.

“Huh?”

“*sip* Eh?” both Hanji and Levi slurred like total buffoons. No more beating around the bush. I just want to get this shitstorm done with. And so I told them everything; from how this place was a butchery overrun by the Infected to the scattered remains lying around, both human and animal. I didn’t neglect mentioning the dysfunctional fridge full of abandoned animals that, under normal circumstances, were to be neatly cut down, placed in packages to be sold and consumed. And to this day, I couldn’t forget the look on Hanji’s face when I described the room full of dead bodies and the Zombie I killed inside.

“So it was you, after all.” I heard Levi comment.

“What?”

“Nevermind. Carry on.” and that I did. Until Lucy and Gelgar came into the picture. And that they stuck around for a while as I was searching for clues, until I have finally reached the dreaded part…

“… They panicked and ran off to the exit and that shitface pushed her into the grinder and I almost went down with her and.. and..” I raised my injured hand as if letting it do the rest of the talking on my behalf.

“Nana, honey… we’re so sorry..” I heard Hanji say as I got squeezed in a hug by my two lovers.

“I tried catching her… but..” I started but to be frank, I don’t know what the hell to say anymore.

“Shhhh. Say no more.” Cooed Levi and I was happy to comply. I just sat there contently trapped in the loving embrace of my datemates from both sides. Occasionally receiving a kiss here, a caress there. All attempts to calm me down. Which helped significantly. It felt like the events from this morning happened weeks ago, which I hope would be the case soon. I can’t wait till time passes by so the incident remains nothing more than a fleeting memory. Eventually Hanji had to go out to file a report of the incident and Levi stayed with me. This time, he lied in the bed and took my head on his lap as our habit calls. As I felt his fingers combing through my hair, I closed my eyes contemplating our next step.

“We have to tell them.” I started.

“Huh?”

“The kids need to know about this, Li. Keeping it from them would most likely do more harm than good.”

“Nanaba. No.” he deadpanned.

“Look, I don’t like this more than you do. But they have to learn from this incident just like us!”

“They’re already having nightmares, Nanaba!” I felt his fingers stop as he spat out the piece of info.

“You think I didn’t care when Air Groove suddenly woke up from her sleep looking like she saw a ghost under her bed? You think that when Edward woke up the next day sleep-deprived because of the nightmares, I brushed it off?”

“Please, listen.” He sighed. Fingers proceeding to stroke my hair again as if silently and kindly telling me to the shut the fuck up and let him talk.

“I understand what you mean, believe me. You want them to know because you feel like it might teach them a lesson.”

“If it were up to me, I’d keep my mouth shut but unless they learn that lesson beforehand, we might regret it in the future - Before it’s too late, Levi! All I want is for them to not make the same mistake I did.” THWACK! I felt something smack me in the head. Really? Here too??

“I’m sorry. A water bucket isn’t available in the meantime and Percy Jackson’s book would have to do.” And in a perfect monotone voice, he said. “You didn’t make any mistake. It’s not like you killed her yourself. It’s not like you left the grinder on for someone to die in. And it’s not like you pushed her in like that pig did. Heck, you even tried to prevent it from happening. Why do you insist on making yourself look like the bad guy here?”

“Because I should have done a better job at protecting my comrade.”

“…..” to be honest, I kinda regret saying that. The way he stayed silent like that most likely meant that I must have struck a nerve. I need to say something! “I-”

“If I get a nickel every time I feel responsible for a comrade or a subordinate getting hurt, I’d be able to buy enough cleaning products that’d last me for a year.” I felt his hand cup my cheek this time. I stayed silent waiting for him to continue. “I guess I get where you’re coming from. We all feel horrible for failing to protect someone. But eventually, we’re not perfect beings. No matter how hard we try, someone must get hurt eventually. We can’t protect everyone.”

“I understand…”

“So please, Nanaba. You did not make a mistake by any means. It was bound to happen. So just let it go.” So I let go. I may not have been able to save Lucy, but at least I didn’t let that happen without trying to stop it. But in the end, there’s simply nothing to be done about it.

* * *

In the early morning, Hanji, Levi and I left on horseback with all of our reports and headed over to the main building. In the duration of the time Hanji has been going through the reports the day before, I’ve finally taken the rest I’ve been denying myself for over 24 hours until I was ready for what needed to be done later. Even Levi finally got the chance to change out of his shirt that was stained by me from Lucy’s blood and, more importantly, clean his neck that I used as a crying pillow. I almost giggled at how red it looked cuz it means that he must have been relentlessly scrubbing it clean until it probably smelled like a match stick. Kaiju and yeager – Hanji’s Megadramon and Levi’s Gegadramon – accompanied us from the air. The dark Digimon is still close to healing that crack in his helmet and thus, Levi deemed him healthy enough to accompany us. I even noticed that Levi washed his Digimon down like he regularly does. I was actually surprised when I saw how dusty Levi had left him recently but I guess the midget tamer didn’t have time to take care of said issue till later. Just like Erwin, these giant data monsters too are superiors and thus have the privilege to learn the exceptional details. But there was no time for sitting with those guys and unravel everything together, so we decided that we should wrap things up here first before sharing the details. In the meantime, it’s just the three of us.

To make a long story short: the officials were informed of everything; our expedition. My investigation. And of course, a soldier’s death and the cause of it. Speaking of which, Gelgar was put on trial due to charges of killing a fellow soldier. I was eager to hear the execution command, but because his actions were deemed accidental, he was condemned a year in jail. Fair enough. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t see that coming but I was too darn enraged to acknowledge it. Much as I hate to admit it, he really didn’t mean to get the girl killed. But it just proved how much of a pussy he was and his own comrades and superiors were there to witness it. Whenever someone is held in court, everyone from their branch must attend such an important event. As for how everyone felt regarding Lucy’s tragic fate.. Well, they didn’t seem that shaken up about it which didn’t exactly come off as a surprise. The girl was practically a nobody. Even more so, treated like a burden that it wouldn’t even shock me if the others seemed happy to be rid of her. That’s how horrible people can become. And sure enough, during the trial, I wasn’t remotely taken aback yet disgusted nonetheless, when I spotted one of her fellow Trost officials shrugging at the news and even his friend next to him made a wave of dismissal. Of course, some people felt a bit upset over the tragedy but they were just a select few, and even they will be quick to forget what happened without sparing a moment to mourn. Girl was ignored and shunned even in death. Could one get anymore unfortunate?

“Sorry he didn’t die, Nana. You must have been wishing he was on the gallows, amirite?” chuckled Hanji from her mouthful almost spitting chewed food projectiles on me. For a grown military woman, she can possess such childish antics yet you can’t help but admire them somehow.

“Can you not fucking choke?” I heard Levi reprimanding her as per usual. The three of us were sitting on a bench in the reception hall after the trial, each with a sandwich we took from the vending machine on the other side of the hall and just sat there having our breakfast watching passerbys like a bunch of school kids. Our job here is pretty much done; Reports handed in. The douchebag got his punishment. We got another assignment to invade that butchery at the nearest chance to eliminate any more potential threats lurking over there and… retrieve the body.

“Nana, we’re leaving.” called out Hanji as she and Levi headed out to the horses that were strapped by the building entrance. She already mounted Spirit, a light brown stallion we had a heck of a time taming. It was actually the hardest horse we’ve ever come across to be mounted. I came over riding Seirra on the way to the bulding, while Levi rode on May’s back to leave her at Trost, then ride behind one of us on the journey back.

“Go on without me. There’s something I have to do first.” they both exchanged confused looks. After all, whatever business we had inside was already finished. What more is there to be done?

“Want me to come with you?” There was Levi’s offer which I was quick to decline.

“No~~ you, my friend, will sit your squeaky butt over there.” I raised Levi from his waist and plumped him down on Spirit behind his commander. “You guys go home without me. I’ll catch up with you.” I knew that if I told them about what I was planning to do, they’ll be strongly against it and I’m seriously not in the mood for arguments. Luckily though, they didn’t pry too much and just turned around with the horse and bolted in the direction of our barracks. Good. One matter taken care off. Onto the next step:

“Hello, asshole.” And in an ice cold voice, I ‘greeted’.

“N- Nanaba??” exclaimed Gelgar from behind the bars. I headed over to the prison section and paid that boozing moron a visit. If I can’t spill his blood, then the least I’d do is to let him really have it with some well-deserved lecture that would perfectly convey how I feel about the likes of him. What would I gain from doing that? Nothing really. Just the satisfaction of seeing that scum rot in a prison cell where he belongs with nothing but a rusty bed and a bucket to poke his dick into – the real one not that thing over his forehead.

“Or should I say the killer of Lucy?” I hissed.

“Nana! I swear I –“ “DON’T ‘NANA’ ME, YOU BAT TURD!” I yelled as I clutched onto his shirt from between the bars, not willing to let go until I’m done talking. “If you weren’t such a fucking selfish coward, she’d still be alive!!”

“It was an accident, I swear!!” he was already losing it and I probably would have been repulsed from the snot streaming down his nose had I not been busy with something more important.

“But you pushed her on purpose! You pushed her because you were too darn worried for your own damn safety! And if killing her isn’t enough, you continued to run off without looking back!”

“Major Nanaba-” I sharply turned my head around to give a ‘piss off’ glare to the guard interrupting me. I’m not leaving until I drill into that stupid head the weight of what he had done. The guard seemed hesitant to talk so I took it as a chance to carry on where I left off with my verbal abuse. “You didn’t just ditch your fallen comrade who had died because of your lack of backbone, but you also left me behind, you alcoholic piece of shit!” I gritted between my teeth in a dangerously low voice. “You didn’t bother checking on me. I almost died along with Lucy but you left me laying there waiting to be rescued!” and I roughly let go of his shirt as I yelled out the last word, causing him to stumble backwards and fall on his ass.

“Major-”

“If it were up to me, I would have had you expelled from the military if not executed.” I disgustedly pointed at him. “Scum like you shouldn’t even be amongst our ranks! Who knows how many people you probably hurt because you were too busy saving your filthy ass?”

“I’m sorry!” and he started bawling into his hands from his position on the ground, too emotionally broken to bother getting up.

“Um, you made him cry.” I heard the guard whispering in my ear. I looked at him from the corner of my eye for a moment and didn’t reply. I just stood there reveling in the sight of that boozing monkey paying the price for his consequences. And while I didn’t gloat over his current condition, I also didn’t feel pity for him. Perhaps it’s because he genuinely regrets what he’s done that’s making me feel neutral. But the fact still stands that what he did was beyond forgiveness.

“Have a nice year, Gelgar.” and with that, I proceeded to turn around but I felt his hand holding my wrist from between the bars from which I pulled myself free in disgust. Not only because I couldn’t stand any contact with that maniac, but most importantly, he was just crying and snotting in these hands! Great, I’m starting to sound like Levi…

“Nana! I’m sorry but please, don’t leave me!” I was about to come up with a snarky reply until he blurted out something that didn’t surprise me one bit. “I love you! I’ve been in love with you the moment I saw you! Please, don’t go!” Could that bitch get anymore pathetic?

“Too bad.” I sneered in a feigned sad voice. “But drunken cowardly murderers are not my type.” Then I was out the prison, out the main hall, and out the building. His screaming voice continued to slowly fade until I was completely out the building.

Just when you think that you would never hold enough grudge against someone in order to hate them, they go and pull off the most terrible stunts I have ever seen anyone do. I never liked the guy for how obnoxious he was, but never to the point of hating him. Besides the stupidly cliché flirty remarks and drunken tantrums, he was pretty much harmless. But after what he did? He’s practically asking to have his very existence loathed. Add that to all his previous de-dignified antics and he should burn in hell where he belongs.


	4. aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some loose ends were being tied up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder that both genders are physically similar and hermaphroditic. The details of said anatomical aspects are revealed in my profile. The reason why I said that will be revealed at the end of the chapter. No, there’s no lemon! Just a bunch of dirty jokes you’re most likely to cringe at.  
Crossovers briefly mentioned from one punch man, high school dxd, tokyo ghoul, killing bites and gintama.

It stands tall covered in dirt and grime just like how I saw it the last time. We were all staring at the nightmare building against the dark cloudy sky from atop our steeds as if mentally preparing ourselves for what’s awaiting us inside. We gave it just one more day of preparation until it was time for us to invade that horrid building again. We couldn’t afford further delays as we didn’t want to risk any more casualties the longer we left that place as it is.

We didn’t even bring everyone to participate in this new investigation. Just Hanji, Levi and me. The two of us in turn brought only a couple of subordinates from their squad members who were strong enough to join. Levi brought Eren and Mikasa. While Marcus and Kojou tagged along with me. Eren and Kojou were one of the able-bodied owing to their regeneration abilities – Eren being a Digimon shifter and Kojou being a vampire – Mikasa is here thanks to Eren obviously. As for Marcus… he looked awfully determined to come this time. As if refusing to allow a repeat of what had happened.

He even walked in my room this morning voicing his guilt over letting me go on that investigation alone and that if he had been there, he would have been able to do something to stop it. Kinda reminded me of myself over Lucy’s incident. So it’s only natural that I sit alone with my subordinate and give him the same kind of talk I had received from Levi, making sure to whack him with a book every time he says something I disapprove off. Ring any bells? A few words and bonks to the head later, he felt a heck of a lot better than he did earlier. But still looking determined all the same to be invited to the action awaiting us, which I didn’t argue against one bit.

The others still needed some time to recover. They weren’t just physically exhausted but slightly impaired too. And yet, despite their conditions, they still took the time and energy to check on me, when I was in a relatively better state than they were in. It made me feel bad yet it remains something I appreciate beyond measure. I fucking love our kids really…

They weren’t horribly crippled though and it’s safe to say they’re somewhat fine. But we have an unspoken rule that states that the slightest injury/sickness compels you to stay behind so as not to aggravate it. You can’t guarantee your safety should you decide to go on a mission with a bleeding nose, a slight allergy, a twisted ankle, etc… Edward’s automail was still giving him trouble to normally walk and so he stayed behind to take care of his prosthetic leg. Air Groove caught a slight cold from the journey as the climate there hasn’t been very welcoming. Jean’s ankle got a little bit twisted but he was still able to probably walk, all the more reason why he shouldn’t push himself so as not to agitate the slight injury. Kiriha, Yaze and Annie were in good condition but decided to stay behind with the others to provide them with care alongside any help from the Familiars. This leaves the rest of us standing in front of the potential zombie hideout to be explored one last time.

“Man, this place looks like a graveyard.” Commented Marcus from behind me. His steed, a Vypo named Adnan, snorted as if agreeing with his rider. These carnivorous animals are known for their horse-like bodies and canine-like heads and paws.

“Hm..” I snorted at my subordinate’s remark. Oh, how he’s right in this very moment. He knows there’s a dead girl inside actually, and perhaps this could be the reason for why he came up with such a grim and yet fitting metaphor. Me and Levi has come to an agreement that the lieutenants are to be informed of the incident once we get past it and the case was closed. We asked Hanji for confirmation and she gave us approval of our decision. However, we made an exception for the ones who joined us and gave them a headsup for what’s in store for them. Needless to say they were unnerved by the details of the incident during the briefing, but they of course put up a brave front and went along with it.

“Everybody dismount! We’re heading in!” Hanji’s command was what snapped us all out of staring at the building. So without further ado, we all walked through the door, still without handles. We were making our way through the corridor leading to the entrance and I heard Marcus’s nervous sigh from behind me, followed by Eren’s awkward cough. After all, they’re aware of the view awaiting them inside.

“Okay, guys. This is it.” I started as I stood in front of the door to give them one last warning before going in. “the girl is inside. I believe you already know what state she’s in.”

“She’s… stuck in the grinder.” Mumbled Marcus carefully as if afraid the statement was gonna trigger me.

“And the bodies in that room…” added Eren.

“Yeah. It’s not a pretty sight. Just giving you one last heads-up.” I mumbled folding my arms.

“Major. You don’t need to worry about us. We can handle it.” confirmed Mikasa.

“Nana. They’ll be fine. Just let us in.” urged Hanji as I stepped aside to let her in. the first thing Hanji and the lieutenants did was head towards the human remains stuck in the grinder that was supposed to be specified for animal meat. I stood behind already knowing what I needed to know here, Levi standing next to me seeing as he also did his exploration of the place, and perhaps to keep me company.

“How are you feeling, Nana?” he must be concerned about me revisiting the scene again when I barely even recovered from the shock.

“I’m okay, I guess. Doesn’t exactly feel great when you go back somewhere you just had a horrible experience in.” I honestly said as I saw Mikasa covering her mouth with her hand. She wasn’t really horrified but more like feeling sorry for the deceased victim before her judging from the relatively calm yet disturbed look in her eyes. “But I’m alright, really. I expected some flashbacks or something of the sort but nothing so far.”

“I’m glad you’re dealing with this better than I thought, Nana. But please, if you feel unwell, just let anyone of us know and we’ll bail your ass outta here and let you wait outside with the steeds.” Before I opened my mouth for a reply, I heard the sound of glass shattering from above and when I looked up there, I saw Jaeger and Kaiju snaking in through the hole they made in the glass ceiling, followed by Eren’s Pokemon, a Salamance named Berthold. While the other Familiars walked in through the door with us thanks to their relatively smaller size.

“Man, what a mess.” commented Erwin as he walked through the door. The gryphon digimon finally became healthy enough to accompany us on this quest.

“Boss! This is creepy!” commented Andrew, Marcus’s Geogreymon, covering his bony snout. Whereas Ryuki, Mikasa’s Renamon, just let out a sigh as if silently agreeing with the digital dinosaur. Well, the body has been there for a couple days now and while it’s not a lot of time, it can be enough for the smell to be somewhat revolting, especially regarding the weather and unsanitary environment. Andrew’s so-called boss didn’t respond and proceeded to coil his arms around the corpse’s leg to try and pull it out, but before he even made the first tug, we knew something was wrong. We heard sounds of electricity and hoof steps coming from outside, shortly followed by Petra, Kojou’s Zebstrika.

“What’s up, girl?” questioned her owner, at which she reared and barked to get our attention.

“She’s trying to warn us! Everyone, stay on guard!” yelled Hanji. We all prepared our blades attached to our 3DMG gears and stayed prepared to face whatever the zebra Pokemon was trying to warn us of. And just as Adnan, growling and drooling aggressively, bolted through the door and before it even stopped swinging in its hinges, we saw them coming. Can’t say I was surprised. No one was as we all have been briefed on the possibility of an attack.

The zombies all crawled into the place through whatever entrance possible, either from smashing through the ceiling, through the back doors, the rooms, and even through that hole in the wall. There weren’t much of them actually, just five or six or so, but no matter the number, a troublemaker is a troublemaker. And it was crystal clear they were behind these murders.

One of those undead assholes threateningly approached us, eyes glowing and mouth open wide ready to bite into the nearest piece of flesh it finds, living or dead. They were dark colored with shining veins coursing through their bodies. A distinctive feature of our enemy monsters no matter what their type is. Even without Hanji’s command, we all moved simultaneously to take care of the threat.

I moved to the zombie right next to my spot and sliced his head clean off. Kojou tripped one of the zombies and it fell on its back then the formal finished it off by stabbing its glowing chest. These glowing parts are vital weakspots to aim at if decapitation didn’t work. Their size, number, location and durability vary depending on the monster. Marcus and Hanji cooperated against this especially large sized zombie where the auburn-haired lieutenant distracts it with a slice on its back leaving enough opening for his commander to finish the job with a well-aimed blow to the hip where its weakspot was. Eren and Mikasa chased after this one zombie that made a run for it and haven’t seen them since. There’s this even one smart guy who tried to jump on us from a beam hanging beneath the ceiling, but Levi shot his harness at him to force him down on the ground like an omelet, then the squad captain carried on by drawing the helpless zombie in his direction using the gear harness then went in for the kill. Despite it one of Levi’s favourite moves, he doesn’t like doing it alot cuz it gets too much blood on him, but he makes exceptions when the situation calls for. Plus, the distinctive dark blood of these creatures is quick to evaporate anyway.

The fight was pretty much it; the Familiars didn’t even need to interfere. Though I could sense Yeager’s thirst for biting someone off clean in half if his snapping jaw was anything to go by. Ok, that’s five of them. Where is the last one? Oh no…

I knew the answer the second I saw Eren and Mikasa walk out the room harboring the human bodies. They must have chased the zombie all the way over there until they were greeted by the unflattering sight. I sprinted over to them and squeezed them both in a hug.

“Are you two alright?? I’m sorry you had to see this!” I said just as Erwin, Berthold and Ryuki approached the three of us.

“W- we’re fine, Major.” Said Eren as he gently removed my arms, Mikasa nodding as if confirming his words. They must have finished off the last zombie, that I can tell by the blue-ish blood on Eren’s shirt and how they stood there seemingly done with their job. I could hear Hanji commanding the Familiars to keep a lookout in case more of those things show up. Whereas Marcus finally managed to yank the body out the grinder and placed the remained bottom half on the floor. He and the other nonhuman companions all grouped together and surrounded the mangled body to examine it closely like it’s a museum exhibit. Which makes me happy actually. Happy cuz that further proves they’re strong enough to deal with death upclose and personal, which’s giving me enough confidence to entrust them with incidents like these in the future without having to worry about their mentality.

“Is this the room?” inquired Hanji as she walked to us in wide strides causing Levi trouble to catch up with her.

“Yes, Han. This is it.” I confirmed.

“And.. you two just barged in when you were chasing after that guy?” she asked the almost inseparable lieutenants before her. She is aware of the amount of surprise they must have felt when they stumbled upon the scene. They nodded and she placed her hands on their shoulders gently. “I’m sorry, kids. I know it must have been quite the shock.”

“We’re fine, commander! Really! We were actually more surprised than scared anyway!” assured Eren. Dunno if he was telling the truth or just saying that to make us feel better, but in both cases, they showed more bravery than a certain cockhead. Once Hanji let go of the adoptive siblings, she walked in the room without hesitation and started examining what’s inside.

“What the fu-!!!”

“Oh Lawd!!” Exclaimed Marcus and Kojou simultaneously when they peeked with their heads inside the room from behind the wall. Quite reasonable reactions if I do say so myself. It wasn’t long before Hanji walked out the room with a contemplative look on her face as if mentally investigating the case at hand.

“It’s obvious. This place used to be a normal butchery until it got invaded by the zombies who attacked the workers and used them as a food source.” Now she may not be a psychic, but she’s pretty darn good at putting two and two together. And while this was an easy case to figure out judging by the abundance of evidence, and also because it’s something I’ve figured out as well, she’s still the brains of this group. It’s her intellect and strength combined that’s made her one of the most reverent military commanders. That’s why it’s a bit difficult to hide anything from that woman. Rarely does anything pass over her head.

A few months ago, Eren has been visiting a certain forest area everyone was forbidden to go to due to all the rumors surrounding it about it being haunted and things like that. Despite our clear warnings to steer clear of that place lest someone get harmed, his rebellious instinct kicked in anyway and went over to the area and has been doing it from behind our backs for a few days. Eventually, Hanji found out about Eren’s secret adventure when she spotted a tree leaf stuck in his hair. What needs to be mentioned is that the tree leaf was the same exact type as the ones we found at the haunted place and weren’t found anywhere else. Let’s not forget how he would choose to leave the barracks more often especially when everyone is the most distracted, with his fully charged phone and extra flashlight during night time. And how his clothes would be covered in dirt he couldn’t shake off the next time we see him. And if that’s not enough, his refusal to answer his comrades’ questions about his whereabouts spiked more suspicions. If Hanji hadn’t been so busy with the overloading paperwork, she would have learnt about the wayward lieutenant’s actions sooner. Needless to say, she was beyond angry and nearly jailed him for charges of insubordination. What made her rethink her punishment was that Eren’s reason behind his deeds were very simple: to go look for Mikasa’s scarf she has lost in the lieutenants’ attempt to escape the haunted forest area. They were scouting the area by themselves while us superiors were busy surveying the map from the forest’s outskirts until the teens saw a shadow passing through a small house’s door right in front of their eyes. And just as everyone agreed after a moment of silent horror that they shouldn’t stick around, we heard a shrilling screech coming from inside the house which was all we needed to hightail it out of there. The young Ackerman’s scarf got caught in a branch when her horse was galloping by it and since she didn’t tie it up properly, it was dropped loose with its distraught owner forced to leave it behind due to the danger of going back to retrieve it. Only for Eren to pull it out of his pocket after days of relentless searching, dirty yet intact. Easy to imagine Mikasa squeezing her adoptive brother in a merciless embrace radiating of love and gratitude. Easy to imagine Levi taking the scarf to give it a proper wash to bring back its crimson blood color. The mention of which brings us back to the current situation at hand…

“So people were treated like animals in their butchery. How ironic.” Nodded Hanji at Marcus’s comment. “It’s even further proved by the human remains lying around and the contents of the fridge Nanaba told us about.”

“Yeah… I wouldn’t recommend going in there.” I advised. I don’t wish for anyone to smell what I smelled in there. We don’t need further headache.

“Hold up. Human remains, ma’am?” inquired Mikasa.

“Yes, sweetie. These are human remains mixed in with animal ones.” She confirmed with a serious face.

“How could you tell? They’re pretty messed up!” said Kaiju.

“I saw a human finger, duh!” aaand all seriousness was gone. “And I saw fur remains of a sheep a while earlier! I don’t pull these things out of my ass! There’re definitely both human and animal junk here!”

“I found a hoof on the ground!” this came from Akiba, Kojou’s Spinomon.

“And I saw a tongue.” Said Mikasa.

“I think it’s time to mention that I spotted an eye somewhere. Could be a cow’s for all I know.” Then Marcus shared his discovery.

“Nothing compared to the tail and ear I found!” giggled Kojou treating his discovery like he just found seashells on a beach.

“Well, I found a horn.” Then it was Eren’s turn to share.

“I think I saw a buffalo’s testicle…” mumbled Andrew in a very low voice yet was heard from all of us.

“And the owner of the best discovery goes to Andrew! Great find, pal!” applauded Hanji very sarcastically with the rest of us laughing and doing the same, except Levi of course, who looks ready to kill an entire cow herd.

“Well, I found…” Ryuki started.

“Shut the fuck up! This is not a fucking contest!” growled Levi. Pfft, party pooper. Gotta ask what she found later then.

“Hanji! What the fuck to do next!”

“That’s right, commander. What are we gonna do with the bodies?” inquired the fox Digimon about the vital part as if suddenly remembering what we came here for.

“First thing is first, we’re gonna take the girl with us.” pointed Hanji at Lucy’s body that was being examined curiously by Petra and Adnan.

“What about the ones in this room?” said Eren and that’s when the hard decision comes in. should we take them or destroy the entire butchery with them inside? Our commander stayed silent and closed her eyes briefly, bit her bottom lip, then stopped at the threshold of the door leading to the room containing the subjects in question and kept examining them as if mentally asking them what we should do with them. We all stayed silent for a while waiting for our highest-ranking lady to speak up, until she has finally taken her decision.

“We leave them.”

“Why? Don’t they deserve a proper burial?” asked Akiba.

“And receive it, they shall. We’re going to demolish the entire butchery with them inside. They die here. They get buried here. We don’t have any Intel or information on them that could lead us to their relatives, and thus, we have no reason to recover the bodies.”

“With all due respect, commander. But I don’t think just leaving them is the right thing to do.” Confessed Eren.

“Surely something can be done about them? I deeply apologize, commander, but I think it’d be dishonorable and unfair to them if we destroy them.” Said Mikasa.

“It’s different because these people are unidentified, Mikasa.” I started explaining just as Hange opened her mouth to reply. “If we knew of any friends or families of those guys, then that would definitely require a different course of action.”

“If anything, it’d be dishonorable if we left them to rot here. That’s why I’m destroying this place with them.” Reasoned Hanji.

“Plus, it’s safer this way.” added Levi. “No one besides who already knows should learn about any of this. If we happen to receive an inquiry from a relative, we can always pull a cover-up story out of our ass. But it sure beats letting them in on the real fate of a loved one.”

“It’d be the best for their mentality.” Agreed Jaeger. And to be honest, I’d rather get lied to than receive the shock of the knowledge that a dear friend of mine got mauled and eaten by a group of savage zombies like livestock. what I already went through is bad enough.

“Commander!” we all looked at Marcus who cut off the threads of flesh still connecting Lucy’s remains to the grinder using his sword amongst Kojou’s disturbed grunt. “Phew! Damn!” said Marcus as he covered his nose and mouth with his hand, the rest of us doing the same with Levi doing it with his cravat.

“I’ll go get the body bag.” Volunteered Eren and he ran outside to retrieve said item. And we all stood there staring at the mangled corpse waiting for his return. The upper view of the body was unnervingly grotesque. Her intestines were poking out and what seemed to be the vertebral column could be seen amongst the remains of her entrails. Apparently, a small portion of her upper half survived the relentless devouring of the machine and thus her body was gone halfway through her stomach.

Poor girl…

I still can’t get over how horribly she died. To think that this was her fate all along.

It wasn’t long before Eren barged in again and slowly picked up the light body and placed it inside the bag that was being kept open by Marcus. I couldn’t miss the look of disgust on both the hotheaded teens but the fact that they’re going through this at all makes you proud that they’re actually brave enough to put in the effort to such a horrifying task.

“What about the other remains?” I heard Eren ask me.

“Hm?” I hummed in question.

“Those at the other side of the machine.” He pointed at the minced remains that came out of the machine’s butthole.

“N-no.. Just the body is enough.” because collecting those remains would be way too messy and unnecessary. The lower half should do.

“Everyone out!” commanded Hanji in her authority tune and we all didn’t waste another second clearing the building. Once we were outside, it was dark and cloudy. A fitting atmosphere for our current situation. We all dragged the steeds away after Eren has placed the body in a cart being dragged by his paint mare, Rain. While Mikasa mounted her dark brown stallion, Granite. We all got on our rides then rode away until we were a reasonable distance from the building, then we all simultaneously turned around and gave it one final lookover before the awaited show time.

“Fire!” the fearsome leader has finally given the command to Kaiju and Yaeger and from then, it’s the point of no return. The massive dragonlike Digimons both opened their pincers and shot a relentless stream of missiles and the whole place was burned down to the ground in no time. The sound of the explosion could be heard from miles, fire and black smoke started erupting to consume all what’s trapped beneath them. I looked over at Hanji to see her witnessing the scene with a solemn look on her face, images of the flames reflecting on her goggles giving her the impression of an action movie protagonist. I wonder what she’s thinking. Was she feeling bad for not having rescued those guys sooner? Or perhaps she was having second thoughts about her decision to leave them behind? But I pretty much doubt it. Taking them with us might do more harm than good, so it’s best for them to be erased from existence along with the entire building that has finally bitten the dust down to its last brick. This procedure is done to make sure that that dreaded building won’t serve as a home for those awful creatures anymore. That leaves one more thing before this whole ordeal is done with once and for all: a funeral.

* * *

The three of us were sitting in the air conditioned conference hall in our barracks relaxing from the events of the long day we’ve left behind us. After our business with the butchery was done and over with, we dispatched the lieutenants to go back home and leave the body with us, both the Pokemon and Digimon partners in their respective pokeballs and digivices, leaving just me and the other two superiors to take on the task of transferring the body to Trost. To make a long story short, the procedures of the funeral went fairly quickly. What’s left of the girl was properly wrapped up and placed neatly in the casket, then the entire Trost branch gathered in the graveyard around the object containing the remains of their fallen comrade to pay their respects until it was my turn to do the same. Lastly, she was buried deep underground to join the rest of those who didn’t even make it past their teenage years. Hanji and Levi stood by the sidelines keeping watch of it all. Once the yard has been cleared out and everyone went back to their daily lives, we were approached by the highest ranking official of Trost, Commander Ian, probably to thank us one more time for bringing his formal subordinate’s body back to where it belongs. I wasn’t exactly paying attention to the words being exchanged, for I was still crouched by Lucy’s freshly made grave staring at the date of birth and death engraved on the stone. Heh, she too barely approached her twenties. She was only nineteen. Go figure. I stood up just as the leader of Trost walked in my direction, expressed his gratitude one last time, bid us farewell then went off. I could tell by the broken look on his face that the loss of one of his soldiers must have hit him harder than the rest, who looked like they wanted to be anywhere else. Save for the handful that had actually showed genuine remorse over the tragedy. Guess she did have some friends, after all.

_“She was one of his favourite subordinates.”_ Explained Hanji as if reading my mind. _“Despite her lack of skill, she was one of the kids he recognized the most. He looked at her as a person, not as a soldier. He saw a daughter in her, alongside the select few who had actually bothered to bond with their superiors.”_ What she said made me glad that the three of us superiors are well bonded with our subordinates. We aren’t just a military formation, we’re family. We look at our subordinates like they’re our own children. It’s the fact that we treat them as humans and not just as order-following soldiers that we’ve maintained a good relationship together. All what’s left to do before this case was closed for good is to report our latest activities, but we didn’t even have to head to the main building to do so, as the head of the three branches was already there to attend the funeral himself. After Hanji has filled him in on the butchery events, he thanked us all and told us that our job was done, and that he’s awaiting our next reports regarding future missions. In the meantime, we should go home and rest.

And that’s exactly what we’ve been doing after everything was said and done. The second we stepped foot into the barracks, we summoned the members of the Titan Squad – Genos, Rossweisse, Touka, Hitomi and Kyuubi - and the lieutenants who didn’t accompany us and rounded them all up in the conference hall. And as the name suggests, it’s where the meetings are being held regarding matters such as debriefings, exchanging reports and discussing the latest events. The last of which we’re working on. The Titans and the remaining kids who didn’t go with us due to their conditions were informed of the incident from A to Z, starting from the moment I entered the butchery to demolishing it. Needless to say they were quite disturbed but were understanding nonetheless. And perhaps they were feeling a tad sorry for me for being there to personally witness it all. And sure enough, after the meeting was concluded with final words of warning and to stay on the lookout in the future for incidents like these, the teens approached me to offer me their condolences and wished me recovery for my hand. I did the same and told them to get well soon. Jean had his ankle wrapped up and was still slightly limping and was being supported by Rossweisse, and Air Groove has been sniffing throughout the meeting that Touka had given her a handkerchief at one point. At least Ed seemed to have fixed his leg so that’s one less individual to worry about. Annie, Kiri and Yaze were the last to exit the room with the latter saying something that I heard as ‘want me to make you another hot drink, Aero?’ at which Kyuubi replied to with ‘please make some for me too, Yaze!’ seriously, that boy has a helpless addiction with hot drinks – specifically making them rather than drinking them. And you have Levi to thank for that. He took notice of the esper’s talent with making different kind of beverages and there was absolutely no way he wasn’t gonna abuse that gift. So if you live with us, you’re gonna have to get used to the phrase ‘Yaze, make me some tea’ eight times a day, that’s besides Sunday cleaning.

“He said he loves you? Now he finally confesses? Ha!” giggled Hanji holding her glass of wine. “For such a cowardly piece of chickenshit, he sure has balls between those legs of his! By the way he was acting at this point, I thought he would never be able to have children!!” She continued with her mocking, amber gold liquid shaking in her cup from the movement.

“I knew that guy has always had the boners for you. But to come out and say it instead of the ridiculous flirting was not what I expected honestly. I swear if I heard him spout out one more word to you out of his filthy mouth, I’d smash his fucking face. Lucky for him, he got jailed before that happened.” Mumbled Levi holding his cup from the rim. I nodded my head grumpily without answering. Now that I have gone and done it, I thought it would be a good time to spill the beans about what I’ve been up to back then. I expected them to reprimand me and tell me that what I did was far from necessary. Surprisingly though, they found the whole matter amusing.

“I envy the guy though! I mean he has two dicks! One between his legs and another on his head! He must be having a blast during threesomes!” hiccupped Hanji before taking another sip. “I mean if I had two dicks, I’d fuck you both at the same time without having to switch places every few thrusts! HAHA! *hiccup*” the thing I noticed about that woman is that her craze-o-meter reaches sky high levels after almost every important case, whether it was an investigation or an expedition, as if that’s her way of relaxing and letting loose. She even took off her jacket and undid the first few bottoms of her shirt revealing the upper part of her muscular chest which is quite the hot sight if I do say so myself - with the polo tie being a dang fine addition to the view.

“But wouldn’t having two dicks make it difficult to jerk off?” good question, Levi. Good question.

“Use both your hands, man.” I said.

“The other hand is for the pussy! If I use one hand for each dick, then how am I supposed to finger myself?”

“Use one hand for both pricks and the other one for your keyhole!” Well, Hanji’s solution does make sense. “I bet that Gelgar jerks off by putting one hand down there and the other one on his head! Like this!” and she made an air motion to demonstrate her words, happily wheezing in the process. Drawing a giggle from me and a disgusted grunt from Levi, who mumbled something along the lines of ‘did not need to hear that.’

“But wait!” I gasped. “What if we had two assholes??”

“Two dicks and two pussies? Sounds like a ‘handful’!” laughed Hanji. And thus, we bickered back and forth on the countless possibilities and wonders of owning multiple genitals. Man, I felt so immature but fuck it! We’re allowed to let it out for a while!

“oohhh man… all this pandemonium because I couldn’t complete one stupid investigation.” I whined.

“Because you suck.” Thank you, Levi.

“Yup, she is horrible.” Much appreciated, Hanji. “I hope you both grow a thousand sets of genitals so jerking off would sound more like a nightmarish workout than an act for pleasure.” I retaliated.

“Then I would fuck you a thousand times!” Levi shot back. “You guys forgot about wearing the condoms.” Pointed out Hanji.

“One for this dick and one for this dick and one for this dick and one for this dick and one for this dick and one-”

“Shut up! You sound like an octopus!” me and Hanji cackled at Levi’s interruption, which reminds me.

“Remember when we were confessing about our exquisite findings back at the butchery? About who found a tongue and who found an eye and whatnot?” I said and they both looked at me expectantly. “Ryuki was just about to share what she found until Mr. Fun Ruiner started barking so I asked her when we reached the barracks a while ago. She told me she found an entire rip cage with the lungs still inside! everyone was appalled!”

“Holyshit!”

“Ugh…” You can easily guess who said what.

We carried on with the goofing around a bit more. I took a sip out of my wine as I started to notice Hanji yawning and Levi rubbing his eyes looking tired – more than usual, but both still awake enough to exchange playful smacks and even steal a few sloppy wine-smeared kisses here and there. I got up from the table and headed over to the large window behind Hanji’s seat overlooking the courtyard and gazed up at the starry sky while my two datemates got immersed in their heated stress-induced makeout session in the background, wondering if Lucy is somewhere out there.

She no longer is with us among the living and what’s connecting her to this world is nothing but a lower half trapped in a casket underground as her spirit wonders another realm beyond our recognition and reach. Hopefully she can finally rest in peace now that she won’t have to deal with the hardships of this world which she was too fragile to handle. As for me, I have no choice but to move on now that she was gone, punishments were handed out and revelations were made. I know for certain that this won’t be the last time such an incident take place and for that we’ll have to find it in ourselves to overcome similar situations like this trauma.

**Author's Note:**

> well that was brutal. so how is this for the first fic ever that's created by me? :/


End file.
